Subj: Political_Supp Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 56 jokes and articles)
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Subj: Political_Supp Jokes (Gz) (Includes 56 jokes and articles) >>> |
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| Subj:
The I Rack (S543)
From: edapsmas on 6/5/2007 . |
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Subj: How
To Catch Wild Pigs (S572)
From: tom on 1/3/2008
THIS IS TRULY THOUGHT PROVOKING.
TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT
AND SEND IT ON TO THOSE THAT
YOU THINK ARE WORTH SENDING TO.
There was a chemistry professor
in a large college that had
some exchange students in the
class. One day while the
class was in the lab, the Prof
noticed one young man, an
exchange student, who kept rubbing
his back and stretching
as if his back hurt.
The professor asked the young man what was the matter.
The student told him he had a
bullet lodged in his back.
He had been shot while fighting
communists in his native
country who were trying to overthrow
his country's
government and install a new
communist regime. In the
midst of his story, he looked
at the professor and asked
a strange question.
He asked: "Do you know how to catch wild pigs?"
The professor thought it was
a joke and asked for the punch
line. The young man said
that it was no joke.
"You catch wild pigs by finding
a suitable place in the
woods and putting corn on the
ground. The pigs find it
and begin to come everyday to
eat the free corn. When they
are used to coming every day,
you put a fence down one side
of the place where they are
used to coming. When they get
used to the fence, they begin
to eat the corn again and you
put up another side of the fence.
They get used to that
and start to eat again.
You continue until you have all
four sides of the fence up with
a gate in the last side.
The pigs, which are used to
the free corn, start to come
through the gate to eat that
free corn again. You then
slam the gate on them and catch
the whole herd. Suddenly
the wild pigs have lost their
freedom. They run around
and around inside the fence,
but they are caught. Soon
they go back to eating the free
corn. They are so used to
it that they have forgotten
how to forage in the woods for
themselves, so they accept their
captivity."
The young man then told the professor
that is exactly what
he sees happening in America.
The government keeps pushing
us toward Communism/Socialism
and keeps spreading the free
corn out in the form of programs
such as supplemental
income, tax credit for unearned
income, tax cuts, tax
exemptions, tobacco subsidies,
dairy subsidies, payments
not to plant crops (CRP), welfare,
medicine, drugs, etc.
while we continually lose our
freedoms, just a little at a
time.
One should always remember two truths:
1) There is no such thing as a free lunch
2) and
you can never hire someone to provide a service
for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.
If you see that all of this wonderful
government 'help' is
a problem confronting the future
of democracy in America,
you might want to send this
on to your friends.
If you think the free ride is
essential to your way of life,
then you will probably delete
this email. But God help you
when the gate slams shut!
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Subj: The
Bird Feeder (S537b)
From: darrell94590 on 5/2/2007
I bought a bird feeder. I hung
it on my back porch and filled
it with seed. Within a
week we had hundreds of birds taking
advantage of the continuous
flow of free and easily accessible
food. But then the birds
started building nests in the boards
of the patio, above the table,
and next to the barbecue.
Then came the poop. It
was everywhere: on the patio tile, the
chairs, the table...everywhere.
Then some of the birds turned
mean: They would dive bomb me
and try to peck me even though I
had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were
boisterous and loud: They sat
on the feeder and squawked and
screamed at all hours of the
day and night and demanded that I
fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even
sit on my own back porch
anymore. I took down the
bird feeder and in three days the
birds were gone. I cleaned
up their mess and took down the
many nests they had built all
over the patio. Soon, the back
yard was like it used to be...
quite, serene and no one
demanding their rights to a
free meal.
Now lets see... our government
gives out free food, subsidized
housing, free medical care,
free education and allows anyone
born here to be a automatic
citizen. Then the illegals came
by the tens of thousands.
Suddenly our taxes went up to pay
for free services; small apartments
are housing 5 families:
you have to wait 6 hours to
be seen by an emergency room
doctor: you child's 2nd grade
class is behind other schools
because over half the class
doesn't speak English: Corn
Flakes now come in a bilingual
box; I have to press "one" to
hear my bank talk to me in English,
and people waving flags
other than "Old Glory" are squawking
and screaming in the
streets, demanding more rights
and free liberties.
Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
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| Subj:
Mencken On The Presidency (S531)
From: Anon Jr. on 3/26/2007 Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
once observed:
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Menken's photo from
Henry Louis Mencken Site . . |
"The whole aim of practical politics
is to keep the populace
alarmed, and thus clamorous
to be led to safety, by menacing
it with an endless series of
hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."
-- H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)
Mencken also said, "The men the
American people admire most
extravagantly are the greatest
liars; the men they detest
most violently are those who
try to tell them the truth."
Democracy is the theory that
the common people know what
they want and deserve to get
it good and hard.
I believe that all government
is evil, and that trying
to improve it is largely a waste
of time.
In the United States, doing good
has come to be, like
patriotism, a favorite device
of persons with something
to sell.
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Subj: Other
Henry Louis Mencken Quotes (S531)
From: http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/H._L._Mencken
All men are frauds. The only
difference between them is
that some admit it. I myself
deny it.
Any man who afflicts the human
race with ideas must be
prepared to see them misunderstood.
Every normal man must be tempted
at times to spit on his
hands, hoist the black flag,
and begin to slit throats.
For centuries, theologians have
been explaining the
unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
It is hard to believe that a
man is telling the truth
when you know that you would
lie if you were in his place.
It is now quite lawful for a
Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is
still forbidden to resort to
physics or chemistry.
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Subj: NBA
OR NFL? (S531)
From: hellgunner50 on 3/21/2007
36
Have been accused of spousal
abuse
7
Have been arrested for fraud
19
Have been accused of writing
bad checks
117
Have directly or indirectly
bankrupted at least 2
businesses
3
Have done time for assault
71,
Repeat
71 cannot get a credit card
due to bad credit
14
Have been arrested on drug-related
charges
8
Have been arrested for shoplifting
21
Currently are defendants in
lawsuits, and
84
Have been arrested for drunk
driving in The last year
Can you guess which organization
this is?
NBA or NFL?
Give
Up yet? . . . Scroll down,
Neither,
it's the 535 members of the
United States Congress.
The same group of idiots that
crank out hundreds of new
laws each year designed to keep
the rest of us in line.
Some of this article is true
and some is false. Snopes
verifed this at http://www.snopes.com/politics/crime/congress.asp
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Subj: Terrorists
Capture Four Politicians (S474c)
From: DoctorDebt on 2/10/2006
A driver was stuck in traffic.
Nothing was moving. Suddenly
a man knocks on the driver's
window. The driver asks "what
happened?"The man replies, "Terrorists
have kidnapped Hillary
Clilton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse
Jackson and Al Sharpton. They are
asking for $10 million ransom.
Otherwise they are going to
douse them with gasoline and
set them on fire. We are going
from vehicle to vehicle taking
up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving on average?"
The man replied, "About a gallon."
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Subj: Short
Political Jokes
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Subj:
JibJab - Election 2008 (S601)
From: CKButch4Femme on 7/17/2008 Picture from JibJab |
| Subj:
JibJab - The Empire Strikes Barack (S601)
From: JibJab.com on 7/17/2008 Source: http://www.jibjab.com/view/239949 |
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Subj:
State Of The Union Comic Strip (S599b)
By Carl Moore From: Creators.com on 7/8/2008 |
| Subj:
Caroline Kennedy's New Profile: Politics
By Kathy Kiely,USA Today (S597) Chip
Somodevilla, Getti Images...
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You can read this article with
pictures by clicking 'HERE'.
Top
Subj: Our
3 Major Presidential Candidates: (S597)
From: jbcary1 on 6/25/2008
Hillary: A lawyer who is married
to a lawyer.
Obama: Another lawyer who is also married to a lawyer.
McCain: A war hero who is married
to a busty blonde who
owns a beer distributorship.
I mean ... Damn, is this a hard
decision?????
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Subj:
John McCain's Sons (S595c)
From: lauracollins07 on 6/15/2008 Photo from PresidentPolls2008.com... |
| Subj:
Red State Update (S593)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 6/1/2008 Photo from
RedStateUpdate.com...
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Subj:
Hillary And Barack Are Friends (S584)
From: rfslick on 4/1/2008 |
| Subj:
The New Bush Coins (S583b in Bank-Supp)
From: rfslick on 3/26/2008 Source: http://blip.tv/file/520347?ref=patrick.net |
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Subj:
New Perfume (S583)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 3/25/2008 Photo from YouTube |
Top
Subj: Democratic
Dilemma (S582b)
From: tom on 3/11/2008
The Democratic Party has a crisis
of monumental
proportions; They don't know
whether to vote for
the "Nut" with two Boobs or
the "Boob" with two Nuts.
| Subj:
Jack Nicholson Endorses Hillary (S578b)
From: YouTube on 3/1/2008 |
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Subj:
Yes We Can (S579)
By Will I Am of the Black-Eyed Peas on 2/23/2008 Picture from Mahalo.com |
| Subj:
No You Can't (S579)
By Billionairs For Bush on 2/23/2008 |
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Subj:
“Yes We Can” - John McCain Vers. (S579)
by bhoughton on February 11th, 2008 |
| Subj:
Hillary And The Texas Primary (S578)
From: Darly Cagle's Cartoonists Index on 2/22/2008 |
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Subj:
Frank And Ernest On Primaries (S578c)
From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/19/2008 |
| Subj:
Hillary's Dream (S576b)
From: tom on 2/11/2008 |
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Subj:
QUIZ: Test Your Candidate IQ (S575)
From: AOL News on 2/5/2007 Drawing from AOL News |
| Subj:
Doonesbury On Barack Obama (S578c)
From: WashingtonPost.com on 2/4/2008 Small drawing
from WashingtonPost...
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Subj:
The Hill-Billy Candidate (S578c)
From: gordonschuk on 1/27/2008 |
| Subj:
Chelsea Meets A Soldier (S577b)
From: AFine963 on 1/29/2008 |
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Subj:
Frank And Ernest On Campaigning (S577)
From: WashingtonPost.com on 1/29/2008 |
| Subj:
Cute, Dirty, Campaign Button (S577c)
From: darrellvip on 1/28/2008 |
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Subj:
Comic Of Republican Presidential Candidates (S573b)
From: danschu on 1/26/2008 |
| Subj:
Select A Candidate Quiz (S573c)
From: CKButch4Femme on 1/22/2008 Source: http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460 |
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Subj:
The Candidates (S573)
From: People Magazine January Issue page 72 |
| Subj:
Obama Political Cartoon (S575b)
From: tom on 1/19/2008 |
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Subj:
The New Kellogg's Box (S572b)
From: tom on 1/5/2008 |
| Subj:
Obama-Chaney Cartoon (S572c)
From: Mike Thompson, The Detroit Free Press for 10/19/2007 |
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Subj:
Fairy Tales (S559)
From: LABLaughsClean on 10/6/2007 |
Top
Subj: The
Plan (S559b)
From: jbcary1 on 10/4/2007
A. Back off and let those men
who want to marry men,
marry men.
B. Allow those women who want
to marry women,
marry women.
C. Allow those folks who want
to abort their babies,
abort their babies.
D. In three generations, there
will be no Democrats ! !
E. God ! I love it when a plan
comes together...
| Subj:
Spot The Imposter (S540b)
From: AFine963 on 5/15/2007 |
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Top
Subj: Political
Correctness (S531c)
From: jbcary1 on 3/20/2007
The following is the winning
entry from an annual contest
calling for the most appropriate
definition of a
contemporary term.
This year's term: Political Correctness.
"Political Correctness is a doctrine
fostered by a
delusional, illogical liberal
minority, and rabidly
promoted by an unscrupulous
mainstream media, which
holds forth the proposition
that it is entirely possible
to pick up a turd by the clean
end."
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Subj:
Bob Hope's One-Liner (S526c)
From: jbcary1 on 2/10/2007 |
| Subj:
Never Give Up (S516b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com on 12/4/2006 |
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Subj:
Maxine On Elections (S515c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 11/28/2006 |
| Subj:
Four Presidents Visit Oz (S492)
From: darrell94590 on 6/30/2006 |
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You can read this cute story
on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
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Subj:
Portrait Of John Ashcroft (S480c)
From: julie on 4/6/2006 |
| Subj:
Ronald Reagan's One-Liners (S478b)
From: darrell94590 on 3/20/2006 |
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Top
Subj: Hunt
With Dick Cheney Sign (S474)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/21/2006
Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/adult_toon.php?id=A19981029
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From: LABLaughsClean on 10/17/2006
(S509b in Latin)
"The best political community
is formed by citizens of the
middle class." -- Aristotle
(384 BC - 322 BC), Politics
From: Anon. Junior on 10/7/2006 (S506b)
Democrats like bookmarks while
Republicans like to bend over
the pages.
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 2/2/2007
(S525b)
"Sen. Joe Biden, on the day
of announcing his candidacy
for president of the United
States, called Barack Obama
the first mainstream African-American
who is articulate,
bright, and . . . clean.
I think we’ve seen the shortest
presidential campaign in history."
-- Jay Leno
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 3/12/2007
(S530b)
"My definition of a free society
is a society where it
is safe to be unpopular."
-- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/15/2008 (S596b)
"Fear is the opportunity for
courage, not proof of
cowardice." -- John McCain
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Smiley says Bye from
darrell94590 on 9/7/2005 |