Subj: Political2 Jokes
(Includes 253 jokes and articles, 23684b,9)
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Waving Flag from
Some New Light Shed
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Subj: Political2 Jokes (Includes 253 jokes and articles, 23684b,9) ..........Click
"Here" for Political-Supp
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Waving Flag from Some New Light Shed |
=============================================================Top
Subj: It's
A Jungle Out There (S408b)
Paintings by Taiwo Odunsi
From: Anonymous Junior 11/12/04
From: Today's Artist Inspire The World Over
At: http://taiwoinc.com/portfolio_page/Jungle_Out_There.html
 |
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Subj: Bus
Load Of Politicians Crashes (S220b)
From: ICohen on 4/17/2001
A group of politicians was traveling
by bus across the country
to campaign for one of their
own. The bus driver dozed off and
lost control of the bus.
It ran off the highway, rolled over
twice, wrapped around a huge
oak tree and burst into flames.
A trucker happened upon the terrible
scene. He looked the
situation over, walked back
to his truck and got a shovel and
began burying the politicians
right on the spot.
Soon a highway patrolman arrived
at the crash scene along
with five ambulances and other
emergency equipment. The
officer saw the trucker standing
off to the side of the
accident, resting on his shovel.
The trucker said, "Officer,
I could tell by the banners
and stuff that this was a bus
load of politicians. So
I went ahead and buried them.
The highway patrolman nodded
and then said, "So, they were
all dead, right?"
The trucker smiled and said,
"Oh, some of them said they
weren't dead. But you
know how politicians lie."
\\\//
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Subj: Clinton,
Gore, And Bush Died (S206)
From: CHRISDADDYG on 1/5/2001
Crossing The River Bill Clinton,
Al Gore and George W. Bush
died and found themselves standing
on the other side of the
Jordan River, looking across
at the promised land. The
Archangel Michael was standing
on the other side and shoute
over to the three surprised
Americans, "Contrary to what you
have been taught, each
of you will have to wade across the
Jordan River." As Michael
saw their perplexed looks, he
reassured them by saying,
"Don't worry. You will sink only
proportionally according to
your sins on earth. The more you
have sinned the more you will
sink into the water." The
three American sages of political
lore looked at one another,
trying to determine who shall
be the first brave soul to cross
the Jordan River.
Finally George W. Bush volunteered
to go first. Slowly he began
to wade out into the river,
and slowly the water began to get
higher and higher, reaching
to his waist. George began to
sweat, thinking that all of
his sins were coming back to haunt
him. He was beginning
to wonder if he would ever see the
other side. Finally, after
what seemed liked an eternity, he
began to emerge on the river's
bank.
As he ascended to the other side,
he looked behind him to see
which one of the other brave
souls was going next. A shock of
surprise registered on his face,
as he saw Al Gore almost in
the middle of the river and
only his ankles barely touching
the water. He turned to
Michael and exclaimed, "I know Al Gore,
Al Gore is a friend of mine,
and he has sinned much, much more
than that!" Before the
Archangel Michael could reply, Al Gore
shouted back, "I'm standing
on Clinton's shoulders!"
\\\//
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Subj: Ghosts
of Christmas Pres(id)ent (S202, S456)
From: ICohen on 12/15/2000
Gov. George W. Bush thought it
would be a good idea if he
could get the feel of the White
House so he called upon
Clinton to get him an invitation
to stay there a few nights.
Since Clinton thought it wouldn't
be a good idea to turn
him down, he invited him to
the White House for the visit.
On the first night he was awakened
by George Washington's
ghost... "George..what is the
best thing I could do to help
the country"? Bush asked.
"Set an honest and honorable
example, just as I did," advised
Washington.
With all the excitement of the
White House Bush couldn't
sleep well and the next night
the ghost of Thomas Jefferson
moved through the dark bedroom.
"Tom what is the best thing
I could do to help the country"?
Bush asked. "Cut taxes and
reduce the size of the government",
advised Jefferson.
Bush still couldn't sleep well
and the next night he saw
another figure moving in the
shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's
ghost. "Abe, what is the
best thing I could do to help the
country"?, Bush asked.
Abe replied, "Go to the theater"!
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Subj: Proposed
Bush Inaugural Address Song (S201)
From: pns on 12/7/2000
(to the tune of "What a Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke)
Don't know much about history
Don't know much foreign policy
Don't remember how I got through
school
I'm sure I didn't break the
rules
But what's it matter 'cause
my granny says
"Boy, if you want to you can
be the prez
And what a wonderful world this
will be".
Don't know much about the women's
vote
Don't know much about the bill
I wrote
Don't know much about the foreign
vets
I've never voted for 'em yet
But I do know if your dad tries
hard
He can get you in the National
Guard
And what a wonderful place that
can be.
Now I never claimed to be an
A student
But what's wrong with C's?
And maybe by knowing the names
of my cabinet
I can win their love for me
Don't know much about air pollution
Don't know much about the constitution
Don't know much about th'economy
It never much affected me
But there's one thing that I
know for sure
If the rich stay rich and the
poor stay poor
What a wonderful world this
will be.
Don't know much about the national
debt
I've never had to pay one yet
If we need to we can sell the
States
To the Japanese at discount
rates
But I do know if things get
bad
Dick and I can always call my
dad
And what a wonderful world this
will be.
\\\//
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Subj: 2ed
Presidential Debate (S195)
From: RWTmpkns on 10/22/2000
This is hysterical!
Here is a sneak preview of tonight's Presidential Debate.
Presidential Debate Transcript
Jim Lehrer: Welcome to the second
presidential debate between
Vice President Al Gore and Gov.
George W. Bush.
The candidates have agreed on these rules:
I will ask a question.
The candidate will ignore the question
and deliver rehearsed remarks
designed to appeal to undecided
women voters. The opponent
will then have one minute to respond
by trying to frighten senior
citizens into voting for him. When
a speaker's time has expired,
I will whimper softly while he
continues to spew incomprehensible
statistics for three more
minutes.
Let's start with the vice president.
Mr. Gore, can you give us
the name of a downtrodden citizen
and then tell us his or her
story in a way that strains
the bounds of common sense?
Gore: As I was saying to Tipper
last night after we tenderly
made love the way we have so
often during the 30 years of our
rock-solid marriage, the downtrodden
have a clear choice in
this election. My opponent
wants to cut taxes for the richest
1 percent of Americans.
I, on the other hand, want to put the
richest 1 percent in an iron
clad lockbox so they can't hurt
old people like Roberta Frampinhamper,
who is here tonight.
Mrs. Frampinhamper has been
selling her internal organs, one
by one, to pay for gas so that
she can travel to these debates
and personify problems for me.
Also, her poodle has arthritis.
Lehrer: Gov. Bush, your rebuttal.
Bush: Governors are on the front
lines every day, hugging
people, crying with them, relieving
suffering anywhere a photo
opportunity exists. I
want to empower those crying people to
make their own decisions, unlike
my opponent, whose mother is
not Barbara Bush.
Lehrer: Let's turn to foreign
affairs. Gov. Bush, if Slobodan
Milosevic were to launch a bid
to return to power in Yugoslavia,
would you be able to pronounce
his name?
Bush: The current administration
had eight years to deal with
that guy and didn't get it done.
If I'm elected, the first
thing I would do about that
guy is have Dick Cheney confer with
our allies. And then Dick
would present me several options for
dealing with that guy.
And then Dick would tell me which one
to choose. You know, as
governor of Texas, I have to make tough
foreign policy decisions every
day about how we're going to deal
with New Mexico.
Lehrer: Mr. Gore, your rebuttal.
Gore: Foreign policy is something
I've always been keenly
interested in. I served
my country in Vietnam. I had an uncle
who was a victim of poison gas
in World War I. I myself lost a
leg in the Franco-Prussian War.
And when that war was over, I
came home and tenderly made
love to Tipper in a way that any
undecided woman voter would
find romantic. If I'm entrusted
with the office of President,
I pledge to deal knowledgeably
with any threat, foreign or
domestic, by putting it in an iron
clad lockbox. Because
the American people deserve a president
who can comfort them with simple
metaphors.
Lehrer: Vice President Gore,
how would you reform the Social
Security system?
Gore: It's a vital issue, Jim.
That's why Joe Lieberman and I
have proposed changing the laws
of mathematics to allow us to
give $50,000 to every senior
citizen without having it cost the
federal treasury a single penny
until the year 2250. In
addition, my budget commits
$60 trillion over the next 10 years
to guarantee that all senior
citizens can have drugs delivered
free to their homes every Monday
by a federal employee who will
also help them with the child-proof
cap.
Lehrer: Gov. Bush, your rebuttal.
Bush: That's fuzzy math. I know,
because as governor of Texas,
I have to do math every day.
I have to add up the numbers and
decide whether I'm going to
fill potholes out on Rt. 36 east of
Abilene or commit funds to reroof
the sheep barn at the Texas
state fairgrounds.
Lehrer: It's time for closing statements.
Gore: I'm my own man. I
may not be the most exciting politician,
but I will fight for the working
families of America, in addition
to turning the White House into
a lusty pit of marital love for
Tipper and me.
Bush: It's time to put aside
the partisanship of the past by
electing no one but Republicans.
Lehrer: Good night.
\\\//
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Subj: Presidential
Campaign (S195)
From: gsm on 10/25/2000
Please join us in supporting
the Republican National Committee's
nomination of George W. Bush
and Dick Cheney as candidates for
President and Vice President
of the United States. From this
day forward, all our efforts
will be focused on the "Bush and
Dick" campaign.
Joining our campaign as national
spokespersons are Ellen
Degeneris who said publicly,
"I like Bush," and Elton John who
said publicly, "I like Dick."
Also supporting the cause is
Angelina Jolie who said publicly,
"I like both Bush and Dick."
If you wish to see a lot of Bush
and Dick, please be sure to
register to vote in the elections
in November.
For those of you who prefer Gore,
the following bumper stickers
are available: "Lick Bush in
2000."
\\\//
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Subj: Al Gore
Parks In The Snow (S171)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 5/11/00
Al and Tipper Gore were sitting
down to their usual cup of
morning coffee listening to
the weather report coming over
the radio. "There will
be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and
a snow emergency has been declared.
You must park your cars
on the odd numbered side of
the streets." Al got up from his
coffee and said, "Well, okay."
Two days later, they were again
sitting down with their cups
of morning coffee and the weather
forecast said, "There will
be 2 to 4 inches of snow today
and a snow emergency has been
declared. You must park
your cars on the even numbered side
of the streets." Al got
up from his coffee and said, "Well,
okay."
Three days later, they were drinking
their coffee and the
weather forecast said, "There
will be 6 to 8 inches of snow
today and a snow emergency has
been declared. You must park
your cars on the..." and then
the power went out and Al didn't
get the rest of the instructions.
He said to Tipper, "What am
I going to do now, Tipper?"
Tipper replied, "Oh, Al, just leave
the car in the garage."
\\\//
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| Subj:
Quotations From Various Politicians
From: ossama on 98-05-18 Drawing
from WotALaugh.com...
|
 |
The file, Political2, has grown
too big. The Quotes From
Various Politicians was been
seperated into it's own file.
Click 'HERE'
to view it.
\\\//
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Subj: Short
Political Jokes
| Subj:
Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S613)
By Wiley Miller From: WashingtonPost.com on 10/6/2008 |
 |
Top
Subj: Six
Presidents On A Sinking Ship (S407)
From: DoctorDebt on 11/4/2004
FORD: "What do we do?"
BUSH: "Man the lifeboats!"
REAGAN: "What lifeboats?"
CARTER: "Women first!"
NIXON: "Screw the women!"
CLINTON: "You think we have
time?"
 |
Subj:
Become Republican (S459b)
From: chrisdaddyg on 11/4/2005 At: www.TheFrown.com |
Top
Subj: Electoral
Vote Predictor (S404)
From: jimmysu on 10/29/2004
Jimmy came across a website about
predicting the election.
It changes its prediction daily
using polls. The link is
below:
At: http://www.electoral-vote.com/index.html
| Subj:
Reagan's Last One-Liner (S455)
From: flovilla on 10/11/2005 |
 |
Top
Subj: Florida
Election Ballot (S404b)
From: jokes on 10/10/2004
Click here: Florida Election
Ballot
at http://www.wearabledissent.com/101/floridavote.html
Remember Mayor Daily's motto
"Vote early and vote often."
THIS SITE HAS CLOSED DOWN.
Top
Subj: Politician
At News Conference (402b)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 7/23/2004
At a news conference, a journalist
said to the politician
running for the presidency,
"Your secretary said publicly
that you have a small penis.
Would you please comment on
this."
"The truth is," replied the politician,
"that she has a
big mouth."
 |
Subj:
Over Qualified - GIF (S434)
From: LABLaughsRiddles on 5/23/2005 |
Top
Subj: Tiger
Woods To Resign Over Rule Change!!!!!!! (S199)
From: TAdams on 11/22/2000
There has been a rule change
by the PGA, effective as of
November 7th of this year.
From now on, when a golfer tees
off, and his ball doesn't go
where he wants it to, instead
of calling "FORE", he calls out
"GORE". He then may replace
his ball on the tee, and try
again. He may continue
to do this until he wins the hole.
This rule was first tested at
the South Florida Open, and the
Palm Beach Country Club announced
that the first hole only
took seven days to play.
Top
Subj: Presidential
Candidates Agree (S199)
From: Anaise on 11/19/2000
The two major presidential candidates
today agreed that
Americans are seeing too much
inappropriate material in
popular entertainment. However
- they disagree on the details.
The Republican candidate, George
W. Bush, stated that there is
too much bloody violence in
the movies and on television.
Vice-president Al Gore, his Democrat
opponent, stated mean-
while that the media present
Americans with too much sex and
frontal nudity.
In other words, Bush says there
is too much gore, and Gore
says there is too much bush.
| Subj:
Mark Twain Quotations
I have gathered so many quotes by Mark Twain that |
 |
Top
Subj: Political
Compass (S370)
From: igiggle on 2/16/2004
Becky at 'Giggles And Grins'
always sends me the most interesting
web sites to visit. This
Political Compass is quite revealing.
To subscribe to Becky's letter
mailto:subscribe@gigglesngrins.com
http://www.digitalronin.f2s.com/politicalcompass/index.html
This site doesn't exist any
longer. Sites like this are why I
try to place a copy of stuff
I like on my web site.
Top
Subj: New
Republican Emblem (S337b)
From: auntiegah on 7/7/2003
New Republican Emblem - THE
CONDOM
The White House announced today
that it is changing its
emblem to a condom because it
more clearly reflects the
Republican Party's stance. A
condom accepts inflation,
halts production, destroys the
next generation, protects
a bunch of pricks and gives
you a sense of security while
you're actually getting screwed.
Top
Subj: Doonesbury
on Senator Kerry (S367)
From: The Strip Daily Dose on 02/05/04
at http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/dailydose/
All contents copyright ©2004 by Garry Trudeau
Top
Subj: Hmmm....Coincidence???
(S169)
From: JCary on 4/21/00
Here's something interesting
for your consideration.
On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim
a spaceship with five
aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle
ranch outside
Roswell NM, an incident they
say has been covered up by
the military.
On March 31, 1948, exactly nine
months after that day, Al
Gore was born.
Top
Subj: Al Gore's
Speech (S165)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 3/26/2000
At an outdoor press conference,
Al Gore was addressing harsh
criticism of being "lifeless
as a statue."
"That is absurd," Gore stoically
stated. "When elected, the
people of America will see just
how passionate and alive I
truly am."
Embarrassed for her husband,
Tipper, leaned in to whisper,
"Honey, you have a pigeon on
your head."
 |
Subj:
My Wife Rose Is Running For School Board
Being the nerd that I am, Click 'HERE' to see her first campaign sign. |
Top
Subj: Short
Political Jokes (S253)
From: pns on 12/4/2001
"Somebody said, 'What good will
it do to kill Osama bin
Laden?' I said, 'I don't know,
let's find out.'" -Don Imus
"CBS News finally received anthrax
in the mail. As usual,
we're number three." -David
Letterman
"President Bush continues to
have the highest popularity
rating of any president ever,
current rating 130 percent...
In fact, Al Gore carries in
his wallet a picture of him and
Bush at the debates and says,
'Yeah, I know him. We used to
hang out.'" -Jay Leno
"Today President Bush urged all
Americans to be patient
with the war on terrorism.
I think we're pretty patient.
Election day took what, three
months?" -Jay Leno
"New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani
is lobbying now to stay in
office another three months.
And today Clinton said, 'You
can do that?'" -Jay Leno
"Today in New York, we had the
primary elections for mayor.
To improve their chances, all
five candidates changed their
name to Rudy Giuliani." -Conan
O'Brien
"People want to say there isn't
racial profiling at the
airport, but let's be honest.
If you first name is
Mohammed, and your last name
isn't Ali, leave a little
extra time." -Jay Leno
"Do you remember the good ol'
days when Congress was only
unsafe if you were an intern."
-David Letterman
"The big question now is who
will take power in Afghanistan
once the Taliban is defeated.
I was thinking, how about Al
Gore? He's not doing anything,
he needs a job, and he's
already got the beard." -Jay
Leno
"The Mirror interviewed one of
Osama bin Laden's sons and
said bin Laden has 42 children.
That's going to happen
when you sleep in a different
cave every night." -Jay Leno
"Security here in New York City
is still very tight.
Hookers in Time Square now are
demanding two forms of fake
ID." -David Letterman
"Now this really annoys me; all
these people getting on the
Internet and saying Nostradamus
predicted this. If
Nostradamus were alive today
his name would be Miss Cleo
and he'd be charging $2.99 a
minute." -Jay Leno
"People are being much, much
nicer to each other in New
York. And I have to be
honest, it's kind of weird. The
other night at Shea Stadium,
instead of yelling 'You suck!'
at the Braves, Mets fans were
yelling, 'Others are better
than you!'" -Conan O'Brien
"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled
rich kid worth $300M. I
have three words for this guy:
Anna Nicole Smith. We send
her over there, she'll get his
money, he'll be dead in a
week." -Jay Leno
Top
Subj: Jimmy
Carter's Pain (S252b)
From: jerry on 11/29/2001
In the end, Egypt was a big
relief for Carter
In Jimmy Carter's new book, "Christmas
in Plains," the former
President tells a story of great
suffering during the Mideast
peace process endured by him
while negotiating with Egyptian
President Anwar Sadat.
He had a bad hemorrhoid episode.
He says that upon learning of
his situation, Sadat asked his
nation to pray for an end to
Carter's torment (would you want the
entire Egyptian nation to know
your hemorrhoids were hurting?)
and "miraculously ... the day
after Christmas, for the first time
in weeks, all the pain and discomfort
went away."
"I never received a better Christmas gift."
Michael Kesterton's column in
the Globe and Mail (Toronto)
Top
Subj: The
Palm Beach Pokey (S199)
From: WSelwa on 11/22/2000
You put your stylus in,
You put your stylus out,
You put your stylus in,
And you punch Buchanan out.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!
You put the Gore votes in,
You put the Bush votes out,
You put the Gore votes in,
And you do another count.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!
You bring your lawyers in,
You drag the whole thing out,
You bring your lawyers in,
And you put it all in doubt.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!
You let your doctors spin,
You let the pundits spout,
You let your retirees sue,
And your people whine and pout.
You do the Palm Beach Pokey
And you turn the count around,
That's what it's all about!
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
You do the Palm Beach Pokey,
That's what it's all about!
Top
Subj: Quote
Of The Year (S181)
From: mbucher on 7/15/00
The undisputed quote of the
year:
Nominated for quote of the year
is the statement made by
Dick Armey,R-Texas, who when
asked if he were in the
President's place, would he
resign, responded, "If I were
in the President's place I would
not get a chance to resign.
I would be lying in a pool of
my own blood, hearing Mrs. Armey
standing over me saying, 'How
do I reload this damn thing?'"
Top
Subj: Impeached
Presidents (S109)
From: Tom_Adams on 99-03-01
The only three US presidents
who ever had to deal with real
or impending impeachment --
Andrew Johnson, Richard Nixon
and Bill Clinton -- all have
names that are euphemisms for
"penis" -- Johnson, Dick and
Willie. Who says it isn't
about sex?
Top
Subj: Dressed
As Abe Lincoln (DU)
From: humorlist-digest V2 #32 on 98-02-02
An older man wearing a stovepipe
hat, a waistcoat and a
phony beard sat down at a bar
and ordered a drink. As the
bartender set it down, he asked,
"Going to a party ?"
"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm
supposed to come dressed
as my love life."
"But you look like Abe Lincoln." protested the barkeep.
"That's right. My last
four scores were seven years ago."
Only President to win a Pulitzer:
John F. Kennedy for
Profiles in Courage
From: RFSlick on 98-04-08
Diplomacy is the art of saying
'Nice doggie!'... till
you can find a rock.
Lobotomies for Democrats: It's the law.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #100 on 98-04-22
IF "Con" is the Opposite of
"Pro"....then what is the
opposite of PROGRESS?
From: humorlist-digest V2 #112 on 98-05-07
The best things about Ronald
Reagan's presidency
is that we won't have to be
bothered with his memoirs.
From: TAdams on 3/21/2001 (S216)
"An optimist is someone who,
when he finds a pile of manure
under the Christmas tree, exclaims,
"I'm getting a pony!"
-- Ronald Reagan
From: LABLaughsClean on 3/6/2006 (S477b)
"Politics is not a bad profession.
If you succeed there are
many rewards, if you disgrace
yourself you can always write
a book." -- Ronald Reagan
From: LABLaughsClean on 6/4/2006 (S489b)
"If you''ve seen one Redwood
tree, you''ve seen them all!
-- Forestry expert
Ronald Reagan
From: humorlist-digest V2 #115 on 98-05-10
To succeed in politics, it is
often necessary to rise
above your principles.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #118 on 98-05-13
The aging process could be slowed
down if
it had to work its way through
Congress.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #252 on 98-06-06
One of the penalties for refusing
to participate in politics
is you end up being governed
by your inferiors. -- Plato
From: ossama on 98-08-12
and From: auntiegah@yahoo.com on 4/13/2003
(S324b)
Politicians and diapers have
one thing in common.
They both should be changed
regularly and for the same reason.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #258 on 98-10-27
"Main's Law"
For every action there is an
equal and opposite
government program.
From: ossama on 98-10-29 (S92)
Ben ? Jerry's has come up with
a new flavor of ice cream
sure to please Republicans.
It's called Im-Peach-Mint
The Department of Health is calling
for a cleanup of U.S.
cities, saying there are twice
as many rats as people living
in Washington D.C. That's
because we keep sending our
garbage there.
From: auntieg on 98-12-09
There are a lot of things we
do that are irrelevant, but
that's what the Senate is for.
-- Sen. Alan Simpson, R-Wyo.
From: humorlist-digest V3 #13 on 99-01-15
(S103)
In a Pennsylvania parking lot,
a recently-spotted
Republican bumper sticker: "Al
Gore in 1999."
From: ossama on 99-02-25
Democracy is mob rule, but with
income taxes.
From: pns on 3/30/2001 (S218)
I don't approve of political
jokes...
I've seen too many of them get
elected.
From: KMACINTY on 12/6/2000 (S201)
Q: What is the difference between
Al Gore and
a litter of puppies?
A: After a few weeks the puppies
open their eyes and
quit whining.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 6/12/2001
(S229)
"I looked up 'politics' in the
dictionary, and it's actually
a combination of two words;
'poli', which means many, and
'tics', which means 'bloodsuckers.'
" --Jay Leno
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 9/20/2002
(S294b)
Democracy means that anyone
can grow up to be president,
and anyone who doesn't grow
up can be vice president.
-- Johnny Carson
From: TAdams on 7/6/2001 (S232)
"People ask me what they should
read in order to keep up
with everything going on in
Washington. I tell them I
read the New York Times and
my Bible every day so that I
know what each side is doing,"
says Mr. Thomas, the
nation's most widely syndicated
columnist. (Cal Thomas)
From: LABLaughs.com on 2/9/2002 (S262)
Too many people don't care what
happens so long as it
doesn't happen to them.
-- William Howard Taft
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 2/11/2002
(S263)
"The nice thing about being
a celebrity is that
if you bore people they think
it's their fault."
-- Henry Kissinger
From: mjsl on 3/15/2002 (S268c)
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of
progress?
From: LABLaughs.com on 3/25/2002 (S269c)
"Democracy does not guarantee
equality of conditions -
it only guarantees equality
of opportunity."
-- Irving Kristol
From: TAdams on 11/16/2000 (S198)
"The people who vote decide
nothing. The people who count
the vote decide everything."
-- Josef Stalin.
(posthumous advisor to a certain
un-named campaign)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 4/8/2002 (S271c)
In democracy it's your vote
that counts.
In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/8/2003 (S322)
How come we choose from just
two people to run
for President, and 50 for Miss
America?
From: DafterLafter on 6/27/2004 (S404b)
Integrity is like oxygen - the
higher you climb,
the less there is of it.
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