..........(Includes 49 jokes, 23 1075,15,cf,wXT3a6a,10)
Badger's Animated GIF Gallery
Also see WORD_JOKES1 - 'Knock
WORD_JOKES2 - 'A Few Tom Swifties'
Subj: Zits (S997)
by Scott and Borgman in 2016
Dads Tell Short Jokes (S1064)
From: samhutkins in 2017
.........embed/DcUJ61V8ifo (d-On Site)
Click 'HERE' to see REAL Evite Dads tell their best Dad jokes.
Subj: 18 Sarcasms of the Day (S1075)
From: Billy in 2017
I changed my car horn to gunshot
People move out of the way much faster now!
Gone are the days when girls
used to cook like their mothers.
Now they drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling
you get when you
really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
I don't like making plans for
the day because then
the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I didn't make it to the gym today.
That makes five years in a row.
I decided to change calling the
bathroom the John and renamed it
the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Last year I joined a support
group for procrastinators.
We haven't met yet...
I don't need anger management.
I need people to stop irritating me!
Old age is coming at a really bad time! (Yep)
When I was a child I thought
Nap Time was a punishment...
now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation! (Amen)
The biggest lie I tell myself
"I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it." (Oh Boy)
My people skills are just fine.
It's my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.
If God wanted me to touch my
he would've put them on my knees.
The kids text me "plz" which
is shorter than please.
I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes."
I'm going to retire and live
off of my savings.
Not sure what I'll do the second week.
Even duct tape can't fix stupid..
but it can muffle the sound!
Why do I have to press one for
English when you're just
gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
Amazing Street Dancing Act (S928)
From: Domenic Manchester (d-On Site)
Source: (Removed from facebook.com/video)
Click 'HERE' to see this great, thirty
second street act.
Telling People Corny Jokes
..........in 2013 (S862d-iFrame)
LAHWF Presents Andrew Hales telling
corny, short jokes.
Click 'HERE' to watch, and listen, and groan.
Subj: Frank And Ernest Cartoon II
by Bob Thaves in 2013 (S838)
Drunk Tilted Room Skit
in 2010 (S713b, S838d-iFrame)
Shaun Micallef plays a drunk
where the studio set is a
tilted room. It is from the first season of the Micallef
Show on the ABC. Click 'HERE' to see this cute, silly skit.
Subj: Hurricane Irene Warning (S760)
From" Ruby Lou in 2011
** THIS JUST IN ** As Hurricane
Irene prepares to batter the
East Coast, federal disaster officials have warned that
Internet outages could force people to interact with other
people for the first time in years. Residents are bracing
themselves for the horror of awkward silences and unwanted
eye contact. FEMA has advised: "Be prepared. Write down
possible topics to talk about in advance. Sports...the
weather. Remember, a conversation is basically a series
of Facebook updates strung together."
Cool Party Trick
in 2008 (S668d-On Site)
to watch the video and learn how to
do an amazing party trick.
Subj: The Wizard of Id Cartoon (DU)
by Parker and Hart in 2008
Water And Pepper Trick
in 2009 (S673b,d-On Site)
Click 'HERE' to learn this cute trick with water, pepper, and a bowl.
Subj: Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S614b)
by Bob Thaves in 2008
Subj: Short Jokes
Bizarro Cartoon (S757)
By Dan Piraro in 2011
|Drawing from CafePress.com|
Rock Quiz (S675b)
From: StarTribune.com in 2009
Drawing from KingFeatures.com
|To see other Asimov quizes click on||.|
The Flying McCoys Cartoon
by Glenn and Gary McCoy
..........in 2009 (S658b)
Animated Stickman - GIF (S502b)
From: darrell94590 in 2006
Subj: Vitamine Jokes
From: my childhood
A drunk and a crack head were walking down the street one
day. The drunk said "When I clean up my act I going to
be a fireman."
The crack head replied "When
I clean up my act I'm going
to be a vitamine". The drunk stood there with a bewildered
look on his face as the crack head explained "I was walking
down the street the other day when I saw a billboard which
said 'Vitamine B1'.
Subj: Humor Sign (S446b)
..........From: LABLaughsRiddles in 2005
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
So why is it that Americans are
finding the doggie-position
more and more acceptable?
I believe it is so they can both continue watching television.
What did the digital watch say
to his mom? "Look mom no hands."
From: The Bartender Joke Of The Day
in 1997 (S661)
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and
dry cleaners depressed?
From: humorlist-digest V3 #19 in 1999
"No one ever says 'It's only a game' when their team is
From: ossama on 1999 (S105)
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #284 on 1999
Too may freaks, not enough circuses.
From: RFSlick on 1999 (S106)
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
From: pns on 2001 (S218)
Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
From: ossama on 1999 (S108)
A new study reports that vitamin E can help cure memory loss.
Or was it vitamin D?
From: PGM2R4U on 1999 (S121)
Many men smoke------but Fu men chu
From: KMACINTY on 2003 (S311)
Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
From: LABLaughsClean on 2009 (S631b)
Did I like nut another to it send retard a like
this reading time sweet your took you since.
( Now read it backwards )
From: Today's Joke of the Day in 2012
Two silk worms were in a race. What was the result? A tie!
From: Today's Joke of the Day in 2012
Q: Why was the little strawberry crying?
A: Because his parents were in a jam.