(Includes 20 jokes and articles, 04656b)
Tattoos from
Animation Factory
| Subj:
Tattoo Jokes
(Includes 20 jokes and articles, 04656b) |
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Tattoos from Animation Factory |
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| Subj:
Tattoos Of Love (S580b)
From: gattica30 on 2/28/2008 Drawing
from BarDaBoa.com.br...
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Click on the source above, or
'HERE'
for the version on
my web site. Then do the
following:
1. Wait till the girl is uploaded,
can take awhile.
2. Type your name on the first
line. (Seu Nome:)
3. Type your surname on the
second line. (Nome Do Amigo Zoado:)
You don't need to type your
e-mail address.
4. Press on VISUALIZAR.
This is real cool.
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Subj: Returning
From Canada w/Tattoos (S329b, DU)
From: RFSlick on 5/15/2003
A guy was traveling through Canada
on vacation when, low
and behold, he lost his wallet
and all identification.
Cutting his trip short, he attempts
to make his way home
but is stopped by an Immigration
Agent at the border.
"May I see your identification,
please?" asks the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet,"
replies the guy.
"Sure, buddy, I hear that every
day. No ID, no crossing
the border," says the agent.
"But I can prove that I'm an
American!" he exclaims. "I
have a picture of Bill Clinton
tattooed on one butt cheek
and a picture of George Bush
on the other." "This I gotta
see," replies the agent.
With that, Joe drops his pants
and bends over in front of
the agent. "By golly,
you're right!" exclaims the agent.
"Go on home to California."
"Thanks!" he says. "But how
did you know I was from California?
The agent replies, "I recognized
the picture of Your Governor
Gray Davis in the middle."
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Subj: Holidays
Tattooed On Thighs (S116, S572c)
From: FrankRoesc on 4/16/99
A Woman goes into a tattoo parlour
and tells the tattoo
artist that she wants a tattoo
of a turkey on her right
thigh right up just below her
bikini line. She also wants
him to put "Happy Thanksgiving"
under the turkey. So the
guy does it and it comes out
looking real good. The woman
then instructs him to put a
Santa Claus with "Merry Christmas"
up on her left thigh. So the
guy does it and it comes out
looking good too.
As the woman is getting dressed
to leave, the tattoo artist
says "if you don't mind, could
you tell me why you had me
put such unusal tattoos on your
thighs?"
She says "I'm sick and tired
of my husband complaining all
the time that there's nothing
good to eat between Thanks-
giving and Christmas."
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Subj: Bosses
Order Workers to Hide Tattoos (S616c)
From: USA Today and News.AOL.com on 10/31/2008
Source: http://news.aol.com/article/cover-up
.........-tattoos-some-employees-told/233995
Cities and school districts across
the country are forcing
their employees to cover up
tattoos if they want to keep
their jobs. The edicts
have been issued to maintain a good
image, say the communities,
and they have been applied to
teachers, janitors, firefighters
and others.
| "We didn't
want to offend some people in
the community," says Capt. Armando Hogan, spokesman for the Los Angeles City Fire Department, where employees were ordered last spring to cover all tattoos while on duty. "I have been on drills and on scene where someone has said, 'I wouldn't want that person working on me,' and we've had to educate the individual who made the comment." Among the cities: |
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"We don't allow discrimination
based on skin color, yet
we came up with a policy that
discriminated against people
with color on their skin," says
Steve Tufts, president of
the United Firefighters of Los
Angeles City.
Joplin Schools Superintendent
C.J. Huff says students are
getting teaching degrees, getting
tattoos, and then applying
for jobs. "We're saying
before you get a tattoo, you have
to think about how big it is
and where it's located before
you think about getting a job
in our school district," he
says.
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The rule in Bountiful
was passed after
applicants with hard-to-conceal tattoos showed up for interviews for jobs in the police, streets and sanitation departments. City Manager Tom Hardy says city leaders had to decide: "Either we're going to do nothing about it, or we're going to do something about it." Photo from CalGarySun.com |
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Subj: Man
Tattoos Dick (S65, DU)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #242 on 98-04-28
A man went into a tattoo parlor
and asked the owner if he
would tattoo the words "yes"
and "no" on his penis. The
owner agreed and the tattooing
was underway. When the job
was complete, the man thought
his new tattoo looked great
and he paid for the service.
That night when the man went
home he approached his wife
in their bedroom. He stripped
off his pants, then his
boxer shorts, and there was
his aroused organ displaying
his new tattoo.
He asked his wife, "Well Honey,
what do you think of my
new tattoo?"
She said...
"You tell me how to cook...",
"You tell me how to clean the
house...",
"You tell me how to do the laundry..."
"And now you are going to put
words in my mouth."
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Subj: The
Perfect Tattoo (S161, S492b, DU)
From: icohen on 12/17/1999
and
From: darrell94590 on 6/27/2006
A guy goes to the tattoo parlor
and offers the tattoo artist
$1,000 to put a $100 bill on
his Willie. The artist agrees,
but is curious and asks the
man why he wants to do this.
The man replies, " I have my
reasons which I would rather not
tell right now".
So, the artist goes ahead and
does the job. But, all the while
he is anxious with curiosity
over why this man wants a $100 bill
on his penis. So, he tells
the man that he really needs to know
the reason why and says that
the man can keep the $1000 he would
have paid for the tattoo if
he would just tell the reason for
putting a $100 bill on his Willie.
So, the man consents and offers
these three reasons:
"First, I
like to play with my money.
Second, I
like to watch my money grow.
Three, I
like how money feels in my hand;
And fourth,
and most importantly, the next time my
wife wants to blow $100, she can stay home to do it."
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Subj: Tattooing
Names (S405)
From: DafterLafter on 10/20/2004
At: http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200409/002.htm
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Subj: Basketball
Player With Tattoos (S310b, S656b)
From: Scott's Joke Archive on 5/31/97
and
From: LABLaughs.com on 1/7/2003
A woman is picked up by a basketball
player in a bar. They
like each other and she goes
back with him to his hotel room.
He removes his shirt and she
sees that on his arm is a tatto
which read "Reebok." She
thinks that's a bit odd and asks
him about it.
He says "When I play basketball,
the cameras pick up the
tattoo and Reebok pays me for
the advertisement."
A bit later, his pants are off
and she sees "Puma" tattoed
on his leg. He gives the
same explanation for the unusual
tattoo.
Finally, the underwear comes
off and she see the word "Aids"
tattooed on his penis.
She jumps back with shock. "I'm not
going to do it with a guy who
has Aids!"
He says "It's cool baby, in a
minute it's going to say
"Adidas."
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Subj: Tattooed
Dick II (S179, S572)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #3
and
From: thebartend on 7/6/00
A friend of a friend was dating
a woman named Wendy. Wendy
insisted that he have her name
tattooed on his penis. Obviously,
this tattooing had to be done
in an advanced state of arousal
- once this arousal faded, the
tattoo simply read "Wy". Of
course, Wendy dumped him six
month later. To mend his broken
heart, the FOAF went to New
York. While there, he was standing
at one of those trough-like
pissoirs next to a strapping young
Black man. He notices "Wy" tattooed
on the man's penis.
FOAF: "Excuse me. Did you go out with Wendy?"
Black guy: "Huh?"
FOAF: "Your tattoo. Does it say 'Wendy?'"
Black guy: "No. It say 'Welcome to New York. Have a nice day.'"
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Subj: Short
Tattoo Jokes
| Subj:
Tattoo Remover (S588b)
From: tom on 4/21/2008 |
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Top
Subj: A Blonde
Gets A Tattoo (S619c)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 11/11/2008
A blonde is showing off her
new tattoo of a giant
seashell on her inner thigh.
Her friends ask her
why she would get such a tattoo
and in that location.
She responds 'It's really cool.
If you put your ear up against
it, you can smell
the ocean.
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Subj:
Unique Tattoo (S537c)
From: darrell94590 on 5/2/2007 |
Top
Subj: Don't
Want To Hear At Tatoo Parlor (S289b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day on 8/11/2002
Things You Do Not Want To Hear
At A Tatoo Parlor
"Eagle? I thought you said BEAGLE."
"We're all out of red, so I used pink."
"There are 2 O's in Bob, right?"
"Gosh, I hate it when I get the hiccups."
"The flag's all done and, you
know, the folds
of fat make a nice waving effect."
"Ooooooops!"
| Subj:
Tattooed Grandma (S482c)
From: darrell94590 on 4/13/2006 |
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Subj:
Tatoo of the Year (S473b)
From: darrell94590 on 2/7/2006 |
Top
Subj: Penis
Tattooed For Profit (S288b)
From: jerry on 8/5/2002
A "unique use of eBay technology"
bonehead award goes to a
man and his wife who posted
eBay auction 1754669488 (no
longer up on eBay) auctioning
off advertising space on his
wiener for a tattooed message.
The Register (UK) 1-Aug-02
| Subj:
Tattoo Anniversary Present (S446)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/16/2005 |
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Subj:
Two Faces Man (S438b)
From: LABLaughsRiddles on 6/16/2005 |
| Subj:
Tattoos In Bars (S435)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 5/24/2005 |
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Subj:
Bizarro Comic Strip On Tattoos (S382)
by Dan Piraro on May 5,2044 From: King Features Syndicated Comics |
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Scorpion from
Scorpion Site |