Subj:     Tax-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 27 jokes and articles, 18852,14,cf,vXT,13)

Tax Time2 from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Frank And Ernest Cartoon II (S741)
.........................Bringing Your Lawyer To The IRS (S502)
.........................Taxman -- Harrison And Clapton - Video (S692, S824)
.........................Our Tax System Explained in Terms of Beer (S613c)
.........................Frank and Ernest On Tax Returns (S581c)
.........................A Letter To Our Senator (S500)
.........................New Taxes In The Last 100 Years (S348)
.........................Senator Sanders' Top 10 Income Tax Avoiders: - Vid (S763)
.........................Man Goes To Priest With Business Problems (S126b)
.........................Man Massages Person In Bank Line (S220)
.........................Dennis The IRS Menace - Cartoon (S724)
.........................The Truth About Taxes (S95)
.........................Interactive Taxes Software (S62)
.........................Short Tax Jokes (S114)
..............................Tom Meyer Political Cartoons (DU)
..............................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S668b)
..............................Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S821)
..............................Ballard Street Cartoon (S645b)
..............................Ann Telnaes Cartoons (S637)
..............................Frank And Ernest On Socrates (DU)
..............................IRS Pencil Sharpener (S586c)
..............................The Sudoku Accounting Method (S584)
..............................Federal Tax Refund (S534)
..............................1040 EZ 2 Do Tax Form (S494c)

Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon II (S741)
          By Bob Thaves on 4/15/2011
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2011/04/15
Subj:     Bringing Your Lawyer To The IRS (S502)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/30/2005
          (See 'Little Old Lady Meets Bank President' in Elderly2)

 The IRS decides to audit Ed, and summons him to the IRS
 office.  The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ed shows
 up with his attorney.

 The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant
 lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain
 by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS
 finds that believable."

 "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ed. "How
 about a demonstration?"

 The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

 Ed says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite
 my own eye."

 The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
 Ed removes his glass eye and bites it.  The auditor's jaw

 Ed says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I
 can bite my other eye."

 The auditor can tell Ed isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

 Ed removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

 The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost
 three grand, with Ed's attorney as a witness.  He starts
 to get nervous.

 "Want to go double or nothing?" Ed asks. "I'll bet you
 six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your
 desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side,
 and never get a drop anywhere in between."

 The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
 carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage
 that stunt, so he agrees again.

 Ed stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although
 he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the
 wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all
 over the desk.

 The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
 turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ed's attorney
 moans and puts his head in his hands.

 "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

 "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ed
 told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty
 thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all
 over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about

Subj:     Taxman -- George Harrison And Eric Clapton (live)
          From: Ruby Stanley on Facebk on 4/25/10 (S692d, S824)
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8OgkjcW0g4

 Live in Tokyo, Japan in 1966, it's George Harrison and Eric
 Clapton.  Two names that, said together, echo greatness
 through out the world.  Click on the above source, or
 'Here' for my copy, to see this concert.

Subj:     Our Tax System Explained in Terms of Beer (S613c)
          From: tom on 10/8/2008

 Using actual percentages, the impact of a tax cut, and the
 public reaction that  everyone should be able to understand.

 Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill
 for all ten comes to $100.  If they paid their bill the way
 we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

 The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
 The fifth would pay $1.
 The sixth would pay $3.
 The seventh would pay $7.
 The eighth would pay $12.
 The ninth would pay $18.
 The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

 So, that's what they decided to do.  The ten men drank in
 the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement,
 until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are
 all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the
 cost of your daily beer by $20.  "Drinks for the ten now cost
 just $80.

 The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our
 taxes, so the first four men were unaffected.  They would
 still drink for free.  But what about the other six men -
 the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 wind-
 fall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

 They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.  But if
 they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the
 fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid
 to drink his beer.  So, the bar owner suggested that it
 would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the
 same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts
 each should pay.

 And so -

 The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing
    (100% savings).
 The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
 The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
 The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
 The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
 The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

 Each of the six was better off than before.  And the
 first four continued to drink for free.  But once
 outside the restaurant, the men began to compare
 their savings.

 "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the
 sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got

 "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I
 only saved a dollar, too.  It's unfair that he got
 ten times more than I!"

 "That's true!!" shouted the seventh man.  "Why should
 he get $10 back when I got only two?  The wealthy get
 all the breaks!"

 "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison.
 "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits
 the poor!"

 The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
 The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks,
 so the nine sat down and had beers without him.  But
 when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered
 something important.  They didn't have enough money
 between all of them for even half of the bill!

 And that, boys and girls, journalists and college
 professors, is how our tax system works.  The people
 who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from
 a tax reduction.  Tax them too much, attack them for
 being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
 In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the
 atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

 David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
 Professor of Economics
 University of Georgia

 For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
 For those who do not, or will not, understand, no
 explanation is possible.

 Snopes.com only checked the authorship of this internet
 article and found that David Kamerschen was NOT its author.
 No one knows who originally wrote it as verified at

Subj:     Frank and Ernest On Tax Returns (S581c)
          By Bob Thaves on 3/7/2008
Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2008/03/07

Subj:     A Letter To Our Senator (S500)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/17/2006

 Dear Senator ,

 As a native Californian and excellent customer of the Internal
 Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance.  I
 have contacted the immigration and Naturalization Service in
 an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal
 alien and they referred me to you.

 My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen
 to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed
 by the Senate and for which you voted.  If my understanding
 of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien
 who has been in the United States for five years, what I
 need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
 income taxes for three of the last five years.

 I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
 the process started before everyone figures it out.  Simply
 put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
 taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding
 two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.  Is
 there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
 This would yield an excellent result for me and my family
 because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

 Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
 daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to
 her law school applications.

 If you would provide me with an outline of the process to
 become illegal retroactively if possible) and copies of the
 necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.  Thank you
 for your assistance.

 Your Loyal Constituent,

 Thanks Hampster

Subj:     New Taxes In The Last 100 Years (S348)
          From: CHRISDADDYG on 9/16/2003

 Accounts Receivable Tax
 Building Permit Tax
 Capital Gains Tax
 CDL license Tax
 Cigarette Tax
 Corporate Income Tax
 Court Fines (indirect taxes)
 Dog License Tax
 Federal Income Tax
 Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
 Fishing License Tax
 Food License Tax
 Fuel permit tax
 Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
 Hunting License Tax
 Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money)
 Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
 IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
 Liquor Tax
 Local Income Tax
 Luxury Taxes
 Marriage License Tax
 Medicare Tax
 Property Tax
 Real Estate Tax
 Septic Permit Tax
 Service Charge Taxes
 Social Security Tax
 Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
 Sales Taxes
 Recreational Vehicle Tax
 Road Toll Booth Taxes
 School Tax
 State Income Tax
 State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
 Telephone federal excise tax
 Telephone federal universal service fee tax
 Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
 Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
 Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
 Telephone state and local tax
 Telephone usage charge tax
 Toll Bridge Taxes
 Toll Tunnel Taxes
 Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)
 Trailer registration tax
 Utility Taxes
 Vehicle License Registration Tax
 Vehicle Sales Tax
 Watercraft registration Tax
 Well Permit Tax
 Workers Compensation Tax

 COMMENT: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and
 our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely
 no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and
 Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

 What the hell happened?

Subj:     Senator Sanders' Top 10 Worst
.............Corporate Income Tax Avoiders: (S763d)
          From: lubin100 on 8/28/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sknt-UBRhxo
 Source2: http://sanders.senate.gov/newsroom/news/

 Bernie Sanders, U.S. Senator for Vermont, on March 30,2011
 before the Senate, listed the ten worst corporate income
 tax avoiders in the United States.

 Benicia's own Valero Energy was sixth on Sanders' list.  It
 was the 25th largest company in America with $68 billion in
 sales last year received a $157 million tax refund check
 from the IRS and, over the past three years, it received a
 $134 million tax break from the oil and gas manufacturing
 tax deduction.  Valero donates thousands of dollars in
 Benicia and the Bay Area while avoiding paying any federal
 tax, reduced their property tax by $350 thousand per year
 and pay only 4% user utility tax versus 10% that Chevron pays.

 "We have a deficit problem. It has to be addressed," Sanders
 said, "but it cannot be addressed on the backs of the sick,
 the elderly, the poor, young people, the most vulnerable in
 this country.  The wealthiest people and the largest corpor-
 ations in this country have got to contribute.  We've got to
 talk about shared sacrifice."

 Click on the top source, or 'HERE'for my copy, to see Sanders
 four and a half minute speech before the Senate.

Subj:     Man Goes To Priest With Business Problems (S126b)
          From: ossama on 98-05-13
      and From: Bawdy.Net Collage #310 on 6/27/99

 A man had been in business for many years and his business was
 going down the drain and was full of debt.  He was seriously
 contemplating suicide and he didn't know what to do.  He went
 to his Priest to seek advice.  He told the Priest about all of
 his problems in business and asked the Priest what he should do.

 The Priest said "Take a beach chair and a bible and put them in
 your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean.  Go to the
 water's edge.  Take the beach chair out of the car, sit on it
 and take the Bible out and open it up.  The wind will rifle the
 pages for a while and eventually the Bible will stay open at a
 particular page. Read the Bible and it will tell you what to do."

 The man did as he is told. He placed a beach chair and a Bible
 in his car and drove down to the beach.  He sat on the chair at
 the water's edge and opened the Bible.  The wind rifled the pages
 of the Bible and then stopped at a particular page.  He looked
 down at the Bible and knew immediately what he had to do.

 Three months later the man and his family came back to see the
 Priest.  The man was wearing a $1,000 Italian suit, his wife was
 all decked out with a full-length mink coat and the child was
 dressed in beautiful silk.  The man handed the Priest a thick
 envelope full of money and told him that he wants to donate
 this money to the church in order to thank the Priest for his
 wonderful advice.  The Priest was delighted.  He recognizes the
 man and asked him "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

 "Absolutely," replied the businessman.

 "You went to the beach?"


 "You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"


 "You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"


 "And what were the first words you saw?"

 The man replies: "Chapter 11."
 (In American Law, Chapter 11 refers to declaring backruptcy.)

Subj:     Man Massages Person In Bank Line (S220)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #280 on 98-11-28
      and From: thebartend on 4/13/2001

 In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy
 suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front
 of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just
 what the hell you are doing?"

 "Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I
 could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back.
 Sometimes I just can't help practicing my art!"

 "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied.
 "I work for the IRS.  Do you see me screwing the guy in front
 of me?"

Subj:     Dennis The IRS Menace (S724)
          By Ward Sutton, From: Tea Party Comics
          in Funny Times on November 2010
 Source1: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_

 Cartoonist Ward Sutton created an Internet sensation with
 the Boston Globe's publication of his Tea Party Comics, a
 satiric look at America's comic-page stalwarts, with a
 rightward spin.
Subj:     The Truth About Taxes (S95)
          From: pac_navigator on 98-11-23

 The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of
 Independence is 1,337 words, and the Holy Bible is only
 773,000 words.  However, the tax law has grown from 11,400
 words in 1913, to 7 million words today.

 There are at least 480 different tax forms, each with many
 pages of instructions.  Even the easiest form, the 1040E
 has 33 pages in instructions, and all in fine print.

 The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions
 each year.  Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times
 around the earth.

 Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the
 paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.

 American taxpayers spend $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours
 working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than
 it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United

 The burden of compliance is the equivalent to a staff of 3
 million people working full time for a year, just to comply
 with the taxes on individuals and businesses.

 The IRS employs 114,000 people; that's twice as many as the
 CIA and five times more than the FBI.

 60% of taxpayers must hire a professional to get through
 their own return.

 Taxes eat up 38.2% of the average family's income; that's
 more than for food, clothing and shelter combined.

Subj:     Interactive Taxes Software (S62)
          From: humorlist-digest V2 #87 on 98-04-09

 Hello! Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer
 Program.  Do you feel like doing your taxes today?

 I see.  Well, don't you think you should do them anyway?
 After all, it is April 9th.  You have less than 7 days to
 file.  And who knows?  Maybe you'll get a refund.

 That's the spirit!  Let's begin with your name, address,
 and marital status.

 Sorry to hear about the divorce.  But don't let it get you
 down -- That alimony deduction will come in mighty handy
 in these tough financial times!

 Please don't cry.  The economy's bound to bounce back.  In
 the meantime, let's talk about dependents.  Do you have
 any children?

 Wow! I hope they're not all in college.  Do you have any
 other dependents?

 Sorry.  You can't deduct your dog, even if she is your
 only friend. I agree.  The IRS is unreasonable.  But let
 us move on to income.  What were your wages in 1997?

 You are having a bad go of it, aren't you?  But at least
 you're getting the Unemployment Benefits max.  I'm afraid
 your Unemployment Benefits are taxable.  The government
 giveth and the government taketh away.  Hey, don't blame
 me!  I'm just the messenger.  Anyway, did you have any
 interest or dividend income or capital gains?

 Your spouse got everything, huh?  Well, look on the bright
 side.  If you don't earn it, they can't make you pay taxes
 on it.  Please don't exit.  It was just a joke.  I don't
 suppose you were able to sock anything away into an IRA?
 I didn't mean to insult you; I'm just doing my job.  They
 make me ask about IRAs and Keogh Plans too.  Okay, okay.
 I get the point.  You're broke.  So let's go over your
 deductions and see about getting you a healthy refund.
 Speaking about health, I need a complete list of your non-
 reimbursed medical expenses.

 That's great -- a fractured sacroiliac.  And your income
 was so low that most of it will be deductible!  Let's move
 on to your state income taxes and real estate taxes.

 Boy, those state taxes can really take a bite, eh?  But
 that huge mortgage tax deduction should really increase
 your refund.  What?  You had to sell the house to pay for
 the divorce?  What a shame.  I thought you said you did
 not have any capital gains.  You sold it at a loss?
 Really?  So tell me -- Do you think housing is going to
 drop any further?  One of my other users is looking to

 You're absolutely right.  That was a selfish and thought-
 less thing to say.   I'm a new program, and I guess they
 haven't gotten all the bugs out.

 Let's go back to your deductions.  What did you pay in
 mortgage interest?

 I'm afraid deducting credit card interest is a major no-no.
 You may want to consider our Interactive Bankruptcy Software!

 Hey, now.  Don't get your nose out of joint.  It was just
 a suggestion.  Anyway, it's time to list your charitable
 contributions.  I know you can't afford them, but list a
 couple hundred in cash anyway.  Everybody does it, and it
 is impossible to check.

 Good.  Now I'm almost afraid to ask, but did you suffer
 any unreimbursed casualty or theft losses last year?

 That's pretty much what I expected.  Just give me the
 numbers and I'll take it from there.

 Is there anything else you want to tell me?

 I'm sorry, I don't really have time to listen about your
 divorce  anymore.   What I meant was, did you have any
 other income or expenses?  Fine.  Now why don't you rest
 for a second, so I can do some quick calculations.

 I have good news.  You're entitled to a $157 refund.
 Would you like to apply it to your 1998 tax?

 I beg your pardon?  They don't pay me enough to listen
 to that kind of language!

Subj:     Short Tax Jokes (S114)

Subj:     Tom Meyer Political Cartoons (DU,d)
          By Tom Meyer
          From: KenK007 on 4/17/2013
 Source: http://www.sfgate.com/columns/meyer/#photo-4479547
 Click 'HERE' to see Tom's all too real, political cartoon
 on government jobs, retirement, and living in California.

Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S668b)
          By Bob Thaves on 10/1/2009
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2009/10/01
 Click 'HERE' to read this cute cartoon about taxes.

Subj:     Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S821)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/30/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2012/09/30
 Click 'HERE' to see Shoe describe the symptoms of love.

Subj:     Ballard Street Cartoon (S645b)
          by Jerry Van Amerongen
          From: Creators.com on 5/17/2009
 Source: http://www.creators.com/comics/ballard-street.html
 Click 'HERE' to see this cartoon about having your
 taxes done by a professional.

Subj:     Ann Telnaes Cartoons (S637)
          From: WashingtonPost.com
          on 4/15/2009
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions
 This Ann Telnaes' animated cartoon discusses taxes.
 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my file copy,
 to see this all too real problem.

Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Socrates (DU, in Greek)
          By Bob Thaves on 12/17/2008
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2008/12/17
 You can read this cute Socrates quotation by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     IRS Pencil Sharpener (S586c)
          From: AFine963 on 4/10/2008
 You can view the photo of this cute object by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     The Sudoku Accounting Method (S584)
          By Bob Thaves on 4/2/2008 (in statistics)
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/frankandernest/2008/04/02
 You can view this cute Frank and Ernest comic strip
 on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     Federal Tax Refund (S534)
          From: darrell94590 on 4/16/2007
 You can view your Federal Tax Refund in a Power Point
 Show on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.

Subj:     1040 EZ 2 Do Tax Form (S494c)
          From: LABLaughsClean on 7/13/2006
 Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
 To view the new, easier tax form, go to the source above, or
 click 'HERE' to see it on my web site.

 Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at
      tax collectors and miss.  --  Robert Heinlein (in Quotes1)

From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 4/11/2007 (S534b)
 "The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit
  that carries any reward."  -- John Maynard Keynes

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/20/2007 (S538b)
 Patrick Henry should come back to see what taxation
 with representation is like.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/17/2009 (S634b)
 In the US, it takes more brainpower to fill
 out the income tax forms than it does to
 earn the income in the first place.

From: LABLaughsClean on 9/1/2009 (S660b)
 "We have a system that increasingly taxes work and
  subsidizes nonwork."  -- Milton Friedman

                           -(o o)-
...............................From Grampsboyd on 3/6/04.