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Subj:     Tax-Supp Jokes
                 (Includes 23 jokes and articles, 24850,16,cf,md4v,13)

Tax Time2 from
Animation Factory
Includes the following:  Mother Goose & Grimm (S636b)
.........................Bringing Your Lawyer To The IRS (S502)
.........................Taxman -- Harrison And Clapton - Video (S692, S824)
.........................Our Tax System Explained in Terms of Beer (S613c)
.........................Frank and Ernest On Tax Returns (S581c)
.........................A Letter To Our Senator (S500)
.........................Senator Sanders' Top 10 Income Tax Avoiders: - Vid (S763)
.........................Dennis The IRS Menace - Cartoon (S724)
.........................Short Tax Jokes (S114)
..............................Tom Meyer Political Cartoons (DU)
..............................Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S668b)
..............................Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S821)
..............................Ballard Street Cartoon (S645b)
..............................Ann Telnaes Cartoons (S637)
..............................Frank And Ernest On Socrates (DU)
..............................IRS Pencil Sharpener (S586c)
..............................The Sudoku Accounting Method (S584)
..............................Federal Tax Refund (S534)
..............................1040 EZ 2 Do Tax Form (S494c)
..............................Frank And Ernest Cartoon II (S741)

============================================================Top
Subj:     Mother Goose & Grimm (S636b)
          By Mike Peters
          From: Grimmy.com on 3/29/2009
 Source: http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php
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Top
Subj:     Bringing Your Lawyer To The IRS (S502)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/30/2005
          (See 'Little Old Lady Meets Bank President' in Elderly2)

 The IRS decides to audit Ed, and summons him to the IRS
 office.  The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ed shows
 up with his attorney.

 The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant
 lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain
 by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS
 finds that believable."

 "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ed. "How
 about a demonstration?"

 The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

 Ed says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite
 my own eye."

 The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
 Ed removes his glass eye and bites it.  The auditor's jaw
 drops.

 Ed says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I
 can bite my other eye."

 The auditor can tell Ed isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

 Ed removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

 The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost
 three grand, with Ed's attorney as a witness.  He starts
 to get nervous.

 "Want to go double or nothing?" Ed asks. "I'll bet you
 six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your
 desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side,
 and never get a drop anywhere in between."

 The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks
 carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage
 that stunt, so he agrees again.

 Ed stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although
 he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the
 wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all
 over the desk.

 The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just
 turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ed's attorney
 moans and puts his head in his hands.

 "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

 "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ed
 told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty
 thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all
 over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about
 it."

Top
Subj:     Taxman -- George Harrison And Eric Clapton (live) (S692d, S824)
          From: Ruby Stanley on Facebook on 4/25/2010
Photo from YouTube.com
 Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8OgkjcW0g4

 Live in Tokyo, Japan in 1966, it's George Harrison and Eric
 Clapton.  Two names that, said together, echo greatness
 through out the world.  Click on the above source, or
 'Here' for my copy, to see this concert.

Top
Subj:     Our Tax System Explained in Terms of Beer (S613c)
          From: tom on 10/8/2008

 Using actual percentages, the impact of a tax cut, and the
 public reaction that  everyone should be able to understand.

 Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill
 for all ten comes to $100.  If they paid their bill the way
 we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

 The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
 The fifth would pay $1.
 The sixth would pay $3.
 The seventh would pay $7.
 The eighth would pay $12.
 The ninth would pay $18.
 The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

 So, that's what they decided to do.  The ten men drank in
 the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement,
 until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are
 all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the
 cost of your daily beer by $20.  "Drinks for the ten now cost
 just $80.

 The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our
 taxes, so the first four men were unaffected.  They would
 still drink for free.  But what about the other six men -
 the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 wind-
 fall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

 They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.  But if
 they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the
 fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid
 to drink his beer.  So, the bar owner suggested that it
 would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the
 same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts
 each should pay.

 And so -

 The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing
    (100% savings).
 The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
 The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
 The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
 The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
 The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

 Each of the six was better off than before.  And the
 first four continued to drink for free.  But once
 outside the restaurant, the men began to compare
 their savings.

 "I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the
 sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got
 $10!"

 "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I
 only saved a dollar, too.  It's unfair that he got
 ten times more than I!"

 "That's true!!" shouted the seventh man.  "Why should
 he get $10 back when I got only two?  The wealthy get
 all the breaks!"

 "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison.
 "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits
 the poor!"

 The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
 The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks,
 so the nine sat down and had beers without him.  But
 when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered
 something important.  They didn't have enough money
 between all of them for even half of the bill!

 And that, boys and girls, journalists and college
 professors, is how our tax system works.  The people
 who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from
 a tax reduction.  Tax them too much, attack them for
 being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.
 In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the
 atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

 David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
 Professor of Economics
 University of Georgia

 For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
 For those who do not, or will not, understand, no
 explanation is possible.

 Snopes.com only checked the authorship of this internet
 article and found that David Kamerschen was NOT its author.
 No one knows who originally wrote it as verified at
 http://www.snopes.com/business/taxes/howtaxes.asp

Top
Subj:     Frank and Ernest On Tax Returns (S581c)
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 3/7/2008
Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
......../affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=franknernest
 

Top
Subj:     A Letter To Our Senator (S500)
          From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/17/2006

 Dear Senator ,

 As a native Californian and excellent customer of the Internal
 Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance.  I
 have contacted the immigration and Naturalization Service in
 an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal
 alien and they referred me to you.

 My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen
 to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed
 by the Senate and for which you voted.  If my understanding
 of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien
 who has been in the United States for five years, what I
 need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
 income taxes for three of the last five years.

 I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get
 the process started before everyone figures it out.  Simply
 put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay
 taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding
 two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine.  Is
 there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
 This would yield an excellent result for me and my family
 because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

 Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my
 daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to
 her law school applications.

 If you would provide me with an outline of the process to
 become illegal retroactively if possible) and copies of the
 necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.  Thank you
 for your assistance.

 Your Loyal Constituent,

 Thanks Hampster

Top
Subj:     Senator Sanders' Top 10 Worst
.............Corporate Income Tax Avoiders: (S763d)
          From: lubin100 on 8/28/2011
 Source1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sknt-UBRhxo
 Source2: http://sanders.senate.gov/newsroom/news/
..........?id=67562604-8280-4d56-8af4-a27f59d70de5

 Bernie Sanders, U.S. Senator for Vermont, on March 30,2011
 before the Senate, listed the ten worst corporate income
 tax avoiders in the United States.

 Benicia's own Valero Energy was sixth on Sanders' list.  It
 was the 25th largest company in America with $68 billion in
 sales last year received a $157 million tax refund check
 from the IRS and, over the past three years, it received a
 $134 million tax break from the oil and gas manufacturing
 tax deduction.  Valero donates thousands of dollars in
 Benicia and the Bay Area while avoiding paying any federal
 tax, reduced their property tax by $350 thousand per year
 and pay only 4% user utility tax versus 10% that Chevron pays.

 "We have a deficit problem. It has to be addressed," Sanders
 said, "but it cannot be addressed on the backs of the sick,
 the elderly, the poor, young people, the most vulnerable in
 this country.  The wealthiest people and the largest corpor-
 ations in this country have got to contribute.  We've got to
 talk about shared sacrifice."

 Click on the top source, or 'HERE'for my copy, to see Sanders
 four and a half minute speech before the Senate.

Top
Subj:     Dennis The IRS Menace (S724)
          By Ward Sutton, From: Tea Party Comics
          in Funny Times on November 2010
 Source1: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_
..........opinion/cartoons/092410_Tea_Party?pg=6

 Cartoonist Ward Sutton created an Internet sensation with
 the Boston Globe's publication of his Tea Party Comics, a
 satiric look at America's comic-page stalwarts, with a
 rightward spin.
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Subj:     Short Tax Jokes (S114)

Top
Subj:     Tom Meyer Political Cartoons (DU,d)
          By Tom Meyer
          From: KenK007 on 4/17/2013
 Source: http://www.sfgate.com/columns/meyer/#photo-4479547
 Click 'HERE' to see Tom's all too real, political cartoon
 on government jobs, retirement, and living in California.
 

Top
Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon (S668b)
          By Bob Thaves
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 10/1/2009
 Source: http://comics.com/affiliate/washington_post/?ComicID=31
 Click 'HERE' to read this cute cartoon about taxes.
 

Top
Subj:     Shoe Sunday Comic Strip (S821)
          By Chris Cassatt and Gary Brookins
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 9/30/2012
 Source: http://www.gocomics.com/shoe/2012/09/30
 Click 'HERE' to see Shoe describe the symptoms of love.
 

Top
Subj:     Ballard Street Cartoon (S645b)
          by Jerry Van Amerongen
          From: Creators.com on 5/17/2009
 Source: http://www.creators.com/comics/ballard-street.html
 Click 'HERE' to see this cartoon about having your
 taxes done by a professional.
 

Top
Subj:     Ann Telnaes Cartoons (S637)
          From: WashingtonPost.com
          on 4/15/2009
 Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/opinions
........./cartoonsandvideos/telnaes/telnaes04152009.swf
 This Ann Telnaes' animated cartoon discusses taxes.
 Click on the above source, or 'HERE' for my file copy,
 to see this all too real problem.
 

Top
Subj:     Frank And Ernest On Socrates (DU, in Greek)
          By Bob Thaves
         From: WashingtonPost.com on 12/16/2008
 Source: http://comics.com/affiliate/washington_post/?ComicID=31

 You can read this cute Socrates quotation by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     IRS Pencil Sharpener (S586c)
          From: AFine963
          on 4/10/2008
 You can view the photo of this cute object by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     The Sudoku Accounting Method (S584)
          From: WashingtonPost.com (in statistics)
          on 4/2/2008
 Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
........./affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=franknernest
 You can view this cute Frank and Ernest comic strip
 on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     Federal Tax Refund (S534)
          From: darrell94590
          on 4/16/2007
 You can view your Federal Tax Refund in a Power Point
 Show on my web site by clicking 'HERE'.
 

Top
Subj:     1040 EZ 2 Do Tax Form (S494c)
          From: LABLaughsClean
          on 7/13/2006
 Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C19970827
 To view the new, easier tax form, go to the source above, or
 click 'HERE' to see it on my web site.
 

Top
Subj:     Frank And Ernest Cartoon II (S741)
          By Bob Thaves
          From: WashingtonPost.com on 4/15/2011
 Source: http://comics.com/affiliate/washington_post/?ComicID=31
 Click 'HERE' to read this cute cartoon about taxes.
 

 Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at
      tax collectors and miss.  --  Robert Heinlein (in Quotes1)

From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 4/11/2007 (S534b)
 "The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit
  that carries any reward."  -- John Maynard Keynes

From: LABLaughs.com on 4/20/2007 (S538b)
 Patrick Henry should come back to see what taxation
 with representation is like.

From: LABLaughsAdult on 2/17/2009 (S634b)
 In the US, it takes more brainpower to fill
 out the income tax forms than it does to
 earn the income in the first place.

From: LABLaughsClean on 9/1/2009 (S660b)
 "We have a system that increasingly taxes work and
  subsidizes nonwork."  -- Milton Friedman

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...............................From Grampsboyd on 3/6/04.
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