Subj: Tax-Supp Jokes (Gz)
(Includes 8 jokes and articles)
Tax Time2 from
Animation Factory
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Subj: Tax-Supp Jokes (Gz) (Includes 8 jokes and articles) |
|
Tax Time2 from Animation Factory |
The IRS decides to audit Ed,
and summons him to the IRS
office. The IRS auditor
is not surprised when Ed shows
up with his attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir,
you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment,
which you explain
by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the IRS
finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can
prove it," says Ed. "How
about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ed says, "I'll bet you a thousand
dollars that I can bite
my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and
says, "No way! It's a bet."
Ed removes his glass eye and
bites it. The auditor's jaw
drops.
Ed says, "Now, I'll bet you two
thousand dollars that I
can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell Ed isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ed removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes
he has wagered and lost
three grand, with Ed's attorney
as a witness. He starts
to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?"
Ed asks. "I'll bet you
six thousand dollars that I
can stand on one side of your
desk, and pee into that wastebasket
on the other side,
and never get a drop anywhere
in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is
cautious now, but he looks
carefully and decides there's
no way this guy can manage
that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ed stands beside the desk and
unzips his pants, but although
he strains mightily, he can't
make the stream reach the
wastebasket on other side, so
he pretty much urinates all
over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing
that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge
win. But Ed's attorney
moans and puts his head in his
hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney.
"This morning, when Ed
told me he'd been summoned for
an audit, he bet me twenty
thousand dollars that he could
come in here and piss all
over an IRS official's desk
and that you'd be happy about
it."
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Subj: A Letter
To Our Senator (S500)
From: LABLaughsAdult on 8/17/2006
Dear Senator ,
As a native Californian and excellent
customer of the Internal
Revenue Service, I am writing
to ask for your assistance. I
have contacted the immigration
and Naturalization Service in
an effort to determine the process
for becoming an illegal
alien and they referred me to
you.
My reasons for wishing to change
my status from U.S. Citizen
to illegal alien stem from the
bill which was recently passed
by the Senate and for which
you voted. If my understanding
of this bill's provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien
who has been in the United States
for five years, what I
need to do to become a citizen
is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the
last five years.
I know a good deal when I see
one and I am anxious to get
the process started before everyone
figures it out. Simply
put, those of us who have been
here legally have had to pay
taxes every year so I'm excited
about the prospect of avoiding
two years of taxes in return
for paying a $2,000 fine. Is
there any way that I can apply
to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent
result for me and my family
because we paid heavy taxes
in 2004 and 2005.
Another benefit in gaining illegal
status would be that my
daughter would receive preferential
treatment relative to
her law school applications.
If you would provide me with
an outline of the process to
become illegal retroactively
if possible) and copies of the
necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you
for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Thanks Hampster
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Subj: Frank
and Ernest On Tax Returns (S581c)
From: WashingtonPost.com on 3/7/2008
Source: http://members.comics.com/members/common
......../affiliateArchive.do?site=washpost&comic=franknernest
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Subj: Short
Tax Jokes (S114)
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Subj:
IRS Pencil Sharpener (S586c)
From: AFine963 on 4/10/2008 |
| Subj:
The Sudoku Accounting Method (S584)
From: WashingtonPost.com (in statistics) on 4/2/2008 |
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Subj:
Federal Tax Refund (S534)
From: darrell94590 on 4/16/2007 |
| Subj:
1040 EZ 2 Do Tax Form (S494c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 7/13/2006 |
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Be wary of strong drink.
It can make you shoot at
tax
collectors and miss. -- Robert Heinlein (in Quotes1)
From: Joke-of-the-Day.com on 4/11/2007
(S534b)
"The avoidance of taxes is the
only intellectual pursuit
that carries any reward."
-- John Maynard Keynes
From: LABLaughs.com on 4/20/2007 (S538b)
Patrick Henry should come back
to see what taxation
with representation is like.
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The Thumb is from
Grampsboyd on 3/6/2004 |