(Includes 24 jokes and articles)
Small Train from
ARG! Cartoon Aimation Studio
| Subj:
Train Jokes (Gz-m2)
(Includes 24 jokes and articles) |
|
Small Train from ARG! Cartoon Aimation Studio |
Also see BIRD-CHICKEN - 'FAA
Test'
BLONDE1 file - 'Three
Blondes In The Woods'
DARWIN AWRDS1- 'Struck
In Head By Train'
DARWIN AWRDS2- 'Hungarian
Railroad Accident'
ENGINEER1 - 'Engineers
On A Train'
FACTS2 file - 'US
Standard Railroad Gauge'
FACTS3 file - 'WGASA
Bush Line'
......................-
'Tortoise
Trophy:'
......................-
'British
Cup:'
FACTS4 file - 'Pervert
On Subway'
GERMANY file - 'Train
to Mannheim'
KIDS1 file - 'Boy
Plays With Trains And Cusses'
JEWISH-RABBI - 'Priest,
Rabbi, Witchdoctor and A Fly'
......................-
'Priest
And Rabbi On A Train'
JOBS3 file - 'Boss
And Secretary On A Train'
MATH4-SUPP2 - 'MATH
PROB. - Train Bridge'
NATIVEAMERICN- 'Two
Indians And A Hillbilly'
NEW YORKER - 'New
Yorkers Honeymoon On Train'
.........PRIEST3
file - 'Three
Priests Buy Train Tickets'
PROGRAMMER - 'Programmer
And Engineer Bet On Plane'
PUSSY file - 'Pussy
Tricks On A Train'
SCIENCE1 file- 'A
Scientist And A Poet'
SHIT file - 'Dan
Rather Talks To Little Tommy On A Plane'
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 |
Subj:
Truck Vs Train (S606b in Truck)
From: BoneheadOfTheDayAward@yahoogroups.com on 8/17/2008 |
If you drive an 18-wheeler and
you stop because the railroad
gates just came down, do you
1) wait for the
train to pass?
2) seek an alternative
route,
or 3) floor it hoping that at
1 MPH you'll make
it over the track before the train comes?
You can view this rather interesting
1 minute video by
clicking on the above source,
or you can view it on my
web site by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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| Subj:
Grand Central Station Freeze (S581)
From: sfo_pilot on 3/7/2008 |
 |
This is a prank on a "grand"
scale. Over 200 people gathered
at Grand Central Station in
New York to pull off a 'frozen in
place' act. The on-looking
travelers who weren't part of the
act were mystified as to what
was going on. You can view the
movie at the source above, or
on my site by clicking 'HERE'.
\\\//
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 |
Subj:
Lucky Day At The Train Station (S586b)
From: edapsmas on 4/11/2008 |
This very short movie shows a
very lucky couple
at train station. Click
'HERE'
to view it.
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Subj: Letters
About Train Service (S562b)
From: edapsmas on 10/29/2007
The following is an exchange
of correspondence between a
customer and the Irish Railway
Company.
Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains
daily for the last two years,
and the service on your line
seems to be getting worse every
day. I am tired of standing
in the aisle all the time on a
14-mile trip. I think
the transportation system is worse
than that enjoyed by people
2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
------------------------
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with
reference to the shortcomings of
our service and believe you
are somewhat confused in your
history. The only mode
of transportation 2,000 years ago was
by foot.
Sincerely,
Larnrod Eireann, Irish Railway
Co.
-------------------------
Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter,
and I think you are the ones
who are confused in your history.
If you will refer to the
Bible, in the book of David,
9th Chapter, you will find that
Balaam rode to town on his ass.
That, gentlemen, is something
I have not been able to do on
your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan
\\\//
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Subj: Soldier
Needs Seat On Train (S554b)
From: hellgunner50 on 8/27/2007
The Paris-bound train was quite
crowded, so a U.S. Marine
walked the entire length looking
for a seat, but the only
seat left was taken by a well
dressed middle-aged French
woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am,
may I please have that
seat?"
The French woman just sniffed
and said to no one in
particular, "Americans are so
rude. My little Fifi is
using that seat."
The Marine walked the entire
train again, but the only seat
left was under that dog.
"Please, ma'am. May I sit down?
I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you
Americans rude, you are also
arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say
a word; he just picked up
the little dog, tossed it out
the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone
must defend my honour! Put this
American in his place!"
An English gentleman sitting
nearby spoke up, "Sir, you
Americans seem to have a penchant
for doing the wrong thing.
You hold the fork in the wrong
hand. You drive your cars on
the wrong side of the road.
And now, sir, you seem to have
thrown the wrong bitch out the
window!"
\\\//
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Subj: Army-Navy
Football Train (S467)
From: hellgunner50 on 12/27/2005
It started last Christmas, when
Bennett and Vivian Levin
were overwhelmed by sadness
while listening to radio reports
of injured American troops.
"We have to let them know we
care," Vivian told Bennett.
So they organized a trip to
bring soldiers from Walter Reed
Army Medical Center and Bethesda
Naval Hospital to the annual
Army-Navy football game in Philly,
on Dec. 3.
The cool part is, they created
their own train line to do it.
Yes, there are people in this
country who actually own real
trains. Bennett Levin - native
Philly guy, self-made millionaire
and irascible former L?I commish
- is one of them.
He has three luxury rail cars.
Think mahogany paneling, plush
seating and white-linen dining
areas. He also has two loco-
motives, which he stores at
his Juniata Park train yard.
One car, the elegant Pennsylvania,
carried John F. Kennedy to
the Army-Navy game in 1961 and
'62. Later, it carried his
brother Bobby's body to D.C.
for burial.
"That's a lot of history for one car," says Bennett.
He and Vivian wanted to revive
a tradition that endured from
1936 to 1975, during which trains
carried Army-Navy spectators
from around the country directly
to the stadium where the
annual game is played.
The Levins could think of no
better passengers to reinstate
the ceremonial ride than the
wounded men and women recovering
at Walter Reed in D.C. and Bethesda,
in Maryland.
"We wanted to give them a first-class
experience," says
Bennett. "Gourmet meals
on board, private transportation
from the train to the stadium,
perfect seats - real hero
treatment."
Through the Army War College
Foundation, of which he is a
trustee, Bennett met with Walter
Reed's commanding general,
who loved the idea.
But Bennett had some ground rules
first, all designed to
keep the focus on the troops
alone:
No press on the
trip, lest the soldiers' day of
pampering
devolve into a media circus.
No politicians
either, because, says Bennett, "I
didn't
want some idiot making this trip into a
campaign
photo op."
And no Pentagon
suits on-board, otherwise the
soldiers
would be too busy saluting superiors to relax.
The general agreed to the conditions,
and Bennett realized
he had a problem on his hands.
"I had to actually make this
thing happen," he laughs. Over
the next months, he recruited
owners of 15 other sumptuous
rail cars from around the country
- these people tend to know
each other - into lending their
vehicles for the day. The
name of their temporary train?
The Liberty Limited.
Amtrak volunteered to transport
the cars to D.C. - where
they'd be coupled together for
the round-trip ride to Philly
- then back to their owners
later.
Conrail offered to service the
Liberty while it was in
Philly. And SEPTA drivers
would bus the disabled soldiers
200 yards from the train to
Lincoln Financial Field, for
the game.
A benefactor from the War College
ponied up 100 seats to
the game - on the 50-yard line
- and lunch in a hospitality
suite.
And corporate donors filled,
for free and without asking
for publicity, goodie bags for
attendees:
From Woolrich,
stadium blankets.
From Wal-Mart,
digital cameras.
From Nikon, field
glasses.
From GEAR, down
jackets.
There was booty not just for
the soldiers, but for their
guests, too, since each was
allowed to bring a friend or
family member.
The Marines, though, declined
the offer. "They voted not
to take guests with them, so
they could take more Marines,"
says Levin, choking up at the
memory.
Bennett's an emotional guy, so
he was worried about how
he'd react to meeting the 88
troops and guests at D.C.'s
Union Station, where the trip
originated. Some GIs were
missing limbs. Others
were wheelchair-bound or accompanied
by medical personnel for the
day.
"They made it easy to be with
them," he says. "They were
all smiles on the ride to Philly.
Not an ounce of self-
pity from any of them.
They're so full of life and
determination."
At the stadium, the troops reveled
in the game, recalls
Bennett. Not even Army's
lopsided loss to Navy could
deflate the group's rollicking
mood.
Afterward, it was back to the
train and yet another
gourmet meal - heroes get hungry,
says Levin - before
returning to Walter Reed and
Bethesda.
"The day was spectacular," says
Levin. "It was all about
these kids. It was awesome to
be part of it."
The most poignant moment for
the Levins was when 11
Marines hugged them goodbye,
then sang them the Marine
Hymn on the platform at Union
Station.
"One of the guys was blind, but
he said, 'I can't see you,
but man, you must be f---ing
beautiful!' " says Bennett.
"I got a lump so big in my throat,
I couldn't even answer
him."
It's been three weeks, but the
Levins and their guests are
still feeling the day's love.
"My Christmas came early,"
says Levin, who is Jewish and
who loves the Christmas season.
"I can't describe the feeling
in the air." Maybe it was hope.
As one guest wrote in a thank-you
note to Bennett and Vivian,
"The fond memories generated
last Saturday will sustain us
all - whatever the future may
bring."
God bless the Levins.
And bless the troops, every one.
\\\//
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Subj: Switchman
Test For Train Yard (S405)
From:LABLaughsClean on 10/21/2004
A guy named Pete gets a job as
a switchman with the railroad,
and undergoes weeks of training.
The supervisor then takes
him into the switch booth to
test his readiness. The following
exchange takes place:
Supervisor: "Imagine you were
sitting here alone and you
learned there was a train coming
from the North on that track,
and another coming from the
South on the same track. What
would you do?"
Pete: "I'd throw this switch
right here and put one train on
the other track."
Supervisor: And what if that switch didn't work?"
Pete: "I'd go down to the track
and throw that big switchlever
there, putting one train on
the other track."
Supervisor: "And what if that switchlever didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd come back here
and call the dispatcher to
stop both trains."
Supervisor: "And what if the phone didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd go to that gas
station across the street
and use their phone."
Supervisor: "And what if their phone didn't work?"
Pete: "Then I'd go get Uncle Joe."
Supervisor: "Uncle Joe??? What would he do?"
Pete: "Nothing, but he ain't never seen a train wreck."
\\\//
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Subj: The
Bushes And Clintons Ride A Train (S395)
From: gheckman on 8/22/2004
(Also see 'Engineers
On A Train' in ENGINEER1)
George and Laura Bush and Bill
and Hilary Clinton are
traveling by train to the Super
Bowl. At the station,
George and Laura each buy a
ticket and watches Bill and
Hilary buy just one ticket.
"How are the two of you going
to travel on only one ticket?"
asks George W, astonished at
what he is seeing.
"Watch and learn," answers Hilary.
They all board the train.
George and Laura take their
respective seats but Bill and
Hilary cram into a toilet
together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed,
the conductor comes
around collecting tickets.
He knocks on the toilet door
and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and
a single arm emerges with
a ticket in hand. The conductor
takes it and moves on.
The Bushes see this happen and
agree it was quite a clever
idea, so after the game they
decide to try a similar plan
on the return trip. When
they get to the station they see
the Clintons at the window buying
a single ticket for the
return trip. To their
astonishment, the Clintons see that
the Bushes don't buy any ticket
at all.
"Aren't you taking a terrible
chance by traveling without
a ticket?" says Hilary.
"Watch and learn," answers Laura Bush.
When they board the train the
Bushs cram themselves into a
toilet and the Clintons cram
into another toilet just down
the way.
Shortly after the train is on
its way, George W. leaves
their toilet and walks over
to the toilet in which the
Clintons are hiding. George
W. knocks on their door and
says, "Ticket, please."
(And you're still trying
to figure out how the Democrats
lost that election.)
\\\//
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Subj: Late
For A Train (S385b)
From: mrx on 6/10/2004
Blake and his parents were drinking
at the bar in a train
station when they heard a whistle.
The three of them rushed
out of the bar onto theplatform
only to discover that they
had missed the train.
"The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster.
The three went back into the
bar. The parents had another
drink. Blake had a Pepsi. Again
they heard a whistle,
rushed out and discovered the
train pulling away.
"Next one is sixty minutes from
now!" said the
stationmaster.
An hour later, Blake, with his
Mom and Dad, raced out onto
the platform, and his parents
leaped onto the train as it
pulled away. The boy was left
standing on the platform and
began to laugh uproariously.
"Your parents just left you,"
said the stationmaster. "Why
are you laughing?"
"They came to see me off!" replied Blake.
\\\//
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Subj: Wife
Leaves By Train And Sister Arrives (S333b, S572)
From: LABLaughs.com on 6/14/2003
Each Friday night I drove my
wife to the train station so
she could go visit her sister
who was ill. Ten minutes
later, MY sister arrived by
train so that she could help
with the house and kids over
the weekend while my wife was
gone. On Sundays this procedure
worked in reverse with my
sister departing by train 10
minutes before my wife arrived.
One evening after my sister left
and while I awaited my
wife's arrival, a porter sauntered
over.
"Mister," he said, "you sure
have some system going! But
one of these days you're goin'
to get caught!"
\\\//
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Subj: Couple
Shares Sleeping Room On Train (S302, S509c)
From: RFSlick on 11/13/2002
and
From: darrell94590 on 10/23/2006
(See 'A
Priest And A Nun Spend The Night' in PRIEST1)
A man and a woman, who have never
met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping
room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed
and uneasy over sharing a room,
the two are tired and fall asleep
quickly -- he in the upper
bunk and she in the lower.
At 2:00 AM, he leans over and
gently wakes the woman, saying,
"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother
you, but would you be willing reach
into the closet to get me a
second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies.
"Just for tonight, let's
pretend that we're married."
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket."
After a moment of silence, he farted.
\\\//
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Subj: Applying
To Be A Signalman On The Railroad (S178)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 6/28/00
Tom is applying for a job as
a signalman for the local railroad
and is told to meet the inspector
at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give
Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What
would you do if you realized
that two trains were heading
towards each other on the same
track?"
Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track."
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.
"Then I'd run down to the tracks
and use the manual lever
down there", answers Tom.
"What if that had been struck
by lightning?" challenges the
inspector.
"Then," Tom continued, "I'd run
back up here and use the phone
to call the next signal box."
"What if the phone was busy?"
"In that case," Tom argued, "I'd
run to the street level and
use the public phone near the
station".
"What if that had been vandalized?"
"Oh well," said Tom, "in that
case I would run into town and
get my Uncle Leo".
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"
"Because he's never seen a train crash."
\\\//
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Subj: Train
Conductor Learns To Flip Coins (S159)
From: KMacinty on 02/15/2000
There is this poor train conductor.
One day while he is
checking out the cars in the
yard he sees a hobo. The hobo
is flipping quarters into a
can. This would not be that big
of a deal except that the hobo
is on one side of the car and
the can is on the other.
The hobo never misses a shot.
He walks up to the hobo and asks,
"How is it that you can flip
quarter after quarter into the
can and never miss?"
The hobo replies, "Practice, my lad, practice."
So, he in his off time starts
practicing. He places the can
ten feet away and practices
until, every time he can get the
shot. Then he starts practicing
from twenty feet. Soon he
has it down to where he can
flip the quarter into a can from
fifty feet away. One day
while he is practicing he boss sees
him. "I will bet you $20
that you cannot do that five times
in a row."
Well, he has been practicing
and feels confident, so he takes
his boss up on the bet.
Lo and behold, he is able to do it
and so wins the $20.
Soon his fame spreads.
He keeps practicing and betting and
the more he does the more people
hear about him. One day
the mayor approaches him. "I
have a proposition for you,"
the mayor says. "We are
having a fair in two weeks. If
you can flip a quarter into
the can from one hundred feet
away ten times in a row, you
will be the star of the fair
and we will build a statue to
you in the town commemorating,
just what one can do with practice."
This sounds great to him and
he takes the mayor up on his
offer. Every day he practices
and soon has it to where he
can flip the quarter into the
can from one hundred feet away
every time. Not thinking
this is enough, he practices even
more until he is entirely confident
that he can succeed.
The day of the fair arrives.
The stands are packed with
everyone in town. To a
resounding drumroll and trumpet
fanfare, he steps onto the stage.
At one end, one hundred
feet away is the can.
In his hand is a quarter. A hush
falls over the crowd as he tests
the wind and prepares his
toss. Whoosh, the quarter
sails from his hand. Clink, it
bounces off of the edge of the
can and rolls off the stage.
The crowd gasps. He, humiliated,
pulls out an automatic
weapon and fires, blasting into
the stands and killing everyone.
The police come to arrest him.
Obviously the cops are from a
different town, as he killed
everyone in his town. The day
of his trial comes and after
a few days of legal semantics,
he is found guilty of mass murder
and sentenced to die in the
electric chair.
The day of his execution comes.
He is strapped down and wires
are connected all over his body.
The executioner steps into
the back room and flips the
switch.
Nothing happens.
Several policemen go into the
room, check the wiring and give
a thumbs up to the executioner.
He flips the switch again.
Nothing happens. The executioner
checks the circuit breaker,
sees it is on and tries again.
Still nothing happens.
At this point, the condemned man asks, "What is going on?"
The executioner walks into the
room. "I do not know," he
says. "I have flipped
the switch three times and nothing
has happened. Do you have
any ideas?"
"I am not sure," the condemned
man says. "It might just
be that I am a poor conductor."
\\\//
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Subj: Elderly
Father Rides Train In South (S85, S572b)
From: RFSlick on 98-09-14
A man who lived in the South
had tried for years to persuade
his elderly father to visit
him. Unfortunately, the father
was from the old country, but
now living in the northeastern
part of the United States, he
had a great fear of flying and
staunchly refused to have any
part of it. The son finally
convinced him that he should
take the train and travel south
to see him and visit with his
family.
Anxiously the son waited at the
train station for the arrival
of his father's train at the
appointed time. As his father
departed the train to hugs and
friendly greetings, his son
said to him "Well, Poppa, how
was your train ride?" His
father shook his head and said
"Oh, America, she's a beautiful
country. I'ma ridin' along
justa enjoyin' da countryside and
I tinka I lika to have me a
smoke... so I taka outa me pipe
anda just asa I'ma gonna light
up, along comes da conductor
and he's a sayin' to you Poppa
'No smokin in da passenger car!'
I taka me to da smokin car and
smoka me pipe ... me tinka me
lika to hava a drink...
so, I taka out me flask and justa as
I'ma gonna taka a sip, along
comes that conductor and he tells
you Poppa 'No drinkin in da
smokin car!.'
I taka me pipe anda flask and
goes to da drinkin car. I'ma
sittina dere and a perty girl
coma and sitta by you Poppa, her
name Virginia. She sitta
close to you Poppa and I patta her
on de knee and she lika dat...
she sitta closer and I patta
her on the tigh......she really
lika dat a lot! We justa
huggin and akissin and along
came date conductor again
and he saysa 'No hanky panky
in da drinkin car!'
So, you Poppa aska Virginia if
she wanna go backa to me lil
sleepin car and she say 'Sure!'
We go to me lil sleepin car
and we's justa huggin and akissin....
and along came data
damned coneductor and he's a
shoutin "NO FOLK VIRGINIA!!!!!!"
\\\//
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Subj: Two
Ladies and Two Soldiers On A Train (S74)
From: RFSlick on 98-06-29
Four strangers travelled together
in the same compartment
of a European train. Two men
and two women faced each other.
One woman was a very wealthy
and sophisticated 70 year old
lady who was decked out in the
finest of furs and jewelry.
Next to her sat a beautiful
young woman, nineteen yrs. old
who looked like something right
off the cover of a fashion
magazine. Across from
the older lady was a very mature
looking man in his mid-forties
who was a highly decorated
Sergeant Major in the Army.
And next to the Sergeant Major
sat a young private fresh out
of boot camp.
As these four strangers travelled,
they talked and chatted
about trivial things until they
entered an unlighted tunnel,
and there they sat in complete
darkness and total silence,
until the sound of a distinct
kiss broke the silence;
following the kiss a loud slap
could be heard throughout
the cabin.
In the ensuing period of silence
the four strangers sat
quietly with their own thoughts.
The older lady was thinking,
"Isn't it wonderful that even
in this permissive day and age
there are still young women
who have a little self-respect
and dignity?"
The young woman, shaking her
head and greatly puzzled, asked
herself, "Why in the world would
any man in his right mind
want to kiss an old fossil like
that when I'm sitting here?"
The Sergeant Major, rubbing his
sore face, was outraged that
any woman could ever think that
a man in his position would
try to sneak a kiss in the dark.
And the private, grinning from
ear to ear, was thinking,
"What a crazy and mixed up world
this is when a private can
kiss the back of his hand and
then smack a Sergeant Major
in the face and get away with
it!"
\\\//
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Subj: Three
Men And A Girl On A Train (S129, S470b)
From: RFSlick on 98-06-21
and
From: DoctorDebt on 1/19/2006
In a train compartment, there
are 3 men and a ravishing young
girl. The four passengers
join in conversation, which very soon
turns to the erotic.
The young girl proposes, "If
each of you will give me $1.00, I
will show you my legs."
The men, charmed by this young girl,
all pull a buck out of their
wallet. the girl pulls us her
dress a bit to show her legs.
Next she says, "If each of you
gentlemen will give me $10.00,
I'll show you my thighs," and
men being what they are, they
all pull out a ten dollar bill.
The girl pulls up her dress
all the way to her legs in full.
Conversation continues, and the
men, a bit excited, have all
taken off their coats.
The young girl then says, "If you will
give me $100, I will show you
where I was operated on for
appendicitis."
All three fork over the money.
The girl then turned to the
window and points outside at
a building they're passing. "See
there in the distance.
That's the hospital where I had it done!"
\\\//
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Subj: Man
Hit By Train (S182)
From: thebartend on 98-05-26
and
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com on 7/25/00
This fellow who had spent his
whole life in the desert comes
to visit a friend. He'd
never seen a train or the tracks
they run on.
While standing in the middle
of the RR tracks one day, he
hears this whistle -- Whooee
da Whoee! -- but doesn't know
what it is.
Predictably, he's hit -- but,
only a glancing blow -- and is
thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle,
to the side of the tracks, with
some minor internal injuries,
a few broken bones, and some
bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering,
he's at his friend's
house attending a party, one
evening. While in the kitchen,
he suddenly hears the tea kettle
whistling. He grabs a base-
ball bat from the nearby closet
and proceeds to batter and
bash the tea kettle into an
unrecognizable lump of metal. His
friend, hearing the ruckus,
rushes into the kitchen, sees
what's happened and asks the
desert man:
"Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"
The desert man replies: "Man,
you gotta kill these things
when they're small."
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Subj: Short
Train Jokes
| Subj:
Amazing Railway Routes (S495, S585b)
From: darrell94590 on 7/21/2006 and 4/3/2008 |
 |
Top
Subj: Heart
Attack On A Train (S288b)
From: jerry on 8/5/2002
A Massachusetts MBTA (Massachusetts
Bay Transit Authority)
train, with a man onboard having
a heart attack, never the
less made two scheduled stops
before arriving in Boston for
waiting medics, according to
horrified passengers who tried
convincing the train crew to
bypass the stations. The crew,
having given the man CPR, was
aware that the man's heart
had stopped.
The MBTA says the crew violated
their policies on medical
emergencies by not only making
the stops along the way, but
for arranging to have a medical
crew waiting in Boston
instead of at the next station.
One commuter said that when she
asked why the train stopped
at the West Newton station instead
of continuing on, she
was told "because there were
people on the platform," and
"if you have a complaint, call
the T office."
Boston Globe 31-Jul-02
Top
Subj: Hiding
In The Train Bathroom (S280b)
From: jerry on 6/12/2002
(See 'Engineers
On A Train' in ENGINEER1)
A German man was caught hiding
in a train bathroom to
avoid paying for a train ticket.
At the police station
he suddenly ripped off his pants
and began repeatedly
hitting a police officer in
the face with his underpants.
He must have been charged with
indecent assault.
Ananova 10-Jun-02
Top
Subj: Team
Work (S471c)
From: LABLaughsClean on 1/23/2006
Source: http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060122
 |
Top
Subj: Boy
Sues Rail Authority (S247)
From: jerry on 10/24/2001
A teenage boy who had been riding
on trains in Australia
for 8 months, hanging out the
window so he could paint
graffiti onto the side and roof
of the trains, sued the
State Rail Authority for $1
million when, while doing
this, he hit a stanchion.
He tried claiming the rail
authority was negligent for
not making sure that it was
impossible for him to hang out
the window to paint
graffiti onto the side and roof
of the train without
being hit by a stanchion.
Hit by the stanchion of justice too.
'' I do not believe . . . the
State Rail Authority had
a duty to prevent a young person,
intent on disfiguring
the train, from deliberately
squeezing through the
narrow window opening,'' said
the judge who not only
rejected the claim but ordered
the boy to repay the
State Rail Authority's legal
costs, an amount that
could run into hundreds of thousands
of dollars.
The Daily Telegraph (Australia)
6-Oct-01
From: smiles on 8/17/99
It's
not my job to run the train,
The whistle I cannot blow.
It's
not my job to say how far
The train is allowed to go.
It's
not my place to shoot off steam,
Nor even ring the bell.
But
let the train just jump the track,
THEN see who catches hell.
The Boston University Bridge
(on Commonwealth Avenue,
Boston, Massachusetts) is the
only place in the world
where a boat can sail under
a train driving under a car
driving under an airplane.
From: LABLaughs.com on 7/26/2003 (S341b)
Q: Why are women's breasts like
a train set
a kid gets at Christmas
time ?
A: Because they were originally
made for children
but the father
wants to play with them.
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Smiley Drives a Train from
Smiley_Central |