Thoughts I've Learned1
(Includes 16 jokes and articles, 05 1099n,8,cL2f,wYT3b5b,2)
Also see BIRDS file - 'Eagles
in a Storm'
BIRDS-DUCKS - 'The Laws Of Ducks'
BUGS-ETC - 'Lessons Learned From Worms'
CATHOLIC file- 'Mother Teresa's Favorites'
CHURCH file - 'Learned From Noah And The Arc'
COLLEGE-PROF - 'Visiting Your Old Professor'
......................- 'The Empty Pickle Jar' - Video
COMPUTER-SUPP- 'Why You Forward Jokes'
DOGS2 file - 'Things We Can Learn From A Dog...'
ELDERLY4 file- 'Elderly Pearls Of Wisdom'
FACEBOOK file- 'Einstein Photo And Quote'
GOLF-SUPP - 'The Privilege Of Playing Golf!'
GREEK file - 'The Waterfall And A Heraclitus Quote'
JOBS3 file - 'Bill Gates' Message on Life'
KIDS2 file - 'Boy With Bad Temper Puts Nails In A Fence'
KIDS3 file - 'If You Love Something'
......................- 'Things I've Learned From My Children'
......................- 'Great Truths About Life From Kids'
LAWS file - 'Pickles Comic Strip'
LISTS file - '18 Things I've Learned By Dave Barry'
LOVE file - 'The Top 11 Hints For Life' in NonJokes
MONSTERS - 'Cookie Monster, Life Coach' - Video
MOTHERS file - 'What My Mother Taught Me'
OTH-SPRTS-SUP- 'Why Do We Fall - Motivational Video'
PRISON file - 'Friendship Quote'
.........QUOTES1 file - 'Be Someone' - Graffiti Quote
.........QUOTES3 file - 'Debunking Famous Quotes'
QUOTES-COMEDN- 'I Am A BAD American By George Carlin'
SANTA file - 'The Four Stages Of Life:'
SCHOOL-SUPP - 'Did You Know' - Video
SCHOOL-SUPP2 - 'Peanuts Comic Strip'
SCHOOL-SUPP3 - 'A Unique Teacher Imparts Real Life Lessons' - Video
.........SPEECHES file- 'Steve Jobs' Commencement Address At Stanford'
......................- 'Anna Quindlen's Commencement Address' in NonJokes
STORIES-SUPP - 'The Window From Which We Look'
THANKSGIVING - 'A Thanksgiving Thought'
......................- 'I Am Thankful For...'
THOUGHTS-KIDS- 'The Failure List II' - Video
......................- 'The Failure List'
......................- 'Ice Cream-Good For The Soul'
......................- (the whole file)
THOUGHTS-QUTS- 'Charles Schultz's Philosophy'
......................- 'Why Are Things The Way They Are?'
......................- 'Instructions for a Good Life'
......................- 'Life Is Like Juggling Five Balls'
......................- 'Rush Limbaugh's 35 Undeniable Truths'
THOUGHTS-SLLY- 'Words To Live By - Humorous'
THO-SILLY-SUP- 'My Resignation As An Adult'
THOUGHTS-TIME- 'Going Back Home For a Neighbors Funeral'
......................- 'How To Stay Young By Anon'
......................- '1000 Marbles'
......................- 'Thoughts On Time Management'
......................- 'More Thoughts On Time'
......................- 'Slow Dancing'
THO-TIME-SUPP- 'I Can't Believe We Made It' - Video
......................- 'How To Live To Be 100 And Over'
THOUGHTS-WARM- 'Pearls Before Swine Sunday Comics'
......................- 'Thoughts Of Eleanor Roosevelt'
......................- 'Strength And Courage'
.........THO-WARM-SUPP- 'Seven Wonders Of The World II'
Subj: Pickles Sunday Comics on Learning (S511b)
Written by Brian Crane in 2006
.....This Sunday comics is too funny.
Subj: Daffodils (S255)
From: RFSlick in 2001
(also see 'Daffodil Principle Video' in Tho-Learned-Supp3)
Several times my daughter had
telephoned to say, "Mother,
you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I
wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to
Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday, "I promised, a
little reluctantly, on her third call.
Next Tuesday dawned cold and
rainy. Still, I had promised,
and so I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's
house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said,
"Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in
the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except
you and these children that I want to see bad enough to
drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly and
said, "We drive in this all
the time, Mother." "Well, you won't get me back on the
road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I
assured her. "I was hoping you'd take me over to the
garage to pick up my car." "How far will we have to
drive?" "Just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive.
I'm used to this." After several minutes, I had to ask,
"Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"
"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled,
"by way of the daffodils." "Carolyn," I said sternly,
"please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise.
You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
After about twenty minutes, we
turned onto a small gravel
road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the
church, I saw a hand-lettered sign that read, "Daffodil
We got out of the car and each
took a child's hand, and I
followed Carolyn down the path. Then, we turned a corner
of the path, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay
the most glorious sight.
It looked as though someone had
taken a great vat of gold
and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The
flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great
ribbons and swath of deep orange, white, lemon yellow,
salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different
colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled
and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.
There were five acres of flowers.
"But who has done this?" I asked
Carolyn. "It's just one
woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property.
That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well kept A-frame
house that looked small and modest in the midst of all
that glory. We walked up to the house.
On the patio, we saw a poster.
"Answers to the Questions
I Know You Are Asking" was the headline. The first answer
was a simple one.
"50,000 bulbs," it read.
The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman.
Two hands, two feet, and very little brain."
The third answer was, "Began in 1958."
There it was, The Daffodil Principle.
For me, that moment
was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman
whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before,
had begun-one bulb at a time-to bring her vision of beauty
and joy to an obscure mountain top.
Still, just planting one bulb
at a time, year after year,
had changed the world. This unknown woman had forever
changed the world in which she lived. She had created
something of ineffable (indescribable) magnificence,
beauty, and inspiration.
The principle her daffodil garden
taught is one of the
greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to
move toward our goals and desires one step at a time-often
just one baby-step at a time-and learning to love the doing,
learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply
tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort,
we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We
can change the world.
"It makes me sad in a way," I
admitted to Carolyn. "What
might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful
goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at
it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just
think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message
of the day in her usual
direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.
It's so pointless to think of
the lost hours of yesterdays.
The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead
of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this
to use today?"
Happiness is the way. So,
treasure every moment that you
have and treasure it more because you shared it with some-
one special, special enough to spend your time with . .
and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting . .
Until your car or home is paid off
Until you get a new car or home
Until your kids leave the house
Until you go back to school
Until you finish school
Until you lose 10 lb..
Until you gain 10 lb..
Until you get married
Until you get a divorce
Until you have kids
Until you retire
Until you die
There is no better time than
right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.
A Thought On Happiness (S470b)
From: LABLaughsRiddles in 2006
..........Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
You can view this cute cartoon and thought by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Things to Remember (S365)
..........From: Grampsboyd in 2004
1. No man or woman is worth
your tears, and the one who is,
won't make you cry.
2. Just because someone doesn't
love you the way you want
them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
3. A true friend is someone
who reaches for your hand and
touches your heart.
4. The worst way to miss someone
is to be sitting right beside
them knowing you can't have them.
5. Never frown, even when you
are sad, because you never know
who is falling in love with your smile.
6. To the world you may be one
person, but to one person you
may be the world.
7. Don't waste your time on
a man/woman, who isn't willing to
waste their time on you.
8. Maybe God wants us to meet
a few wrong people before
meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet
the person, we will know how to be grateful.
9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
10. There's always going to be
people that hurt you so what
you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful
about who you trust next time around.
11. Make yourself a better person
and know who you are before
you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
12. Don't try so hard, the best
things come when you
least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON
Subj: Lessons Throughout A Lifetime (S42, S394b)
From: KMacinty in 1999
I've learned that I like my teacher
because she cries
when we sing "Silent Night"..........Age 6
I've learned that you can't hide
a piece of broccoli
in a glass of milk.........Age 7
I've learned that when I wave
to people in the country,
they stop what they are doing and wave back..........Age 9
I've learned that just when I
get my room the way I like it,
Mom makes me clean it up..........Age 13
I've learned that if you want
to cheer yourself up, you
should try cheering someone else up..........Age 14
I've learned that although it's
hard to admit it, I'm
secretly glad my parents are strict with me..........Age 15
I've learned that silent company
is often more healing
than words of advice..........Age 24
I've learned that brushing my
child's hair is
one of life's great pleasures..........Age 26
I've learned that wherever I
go, the world's worst drivers
have followed me there..........Age 29
I've learned that if someone
says something unkind about me,
I must live so that no one will believe it..........Age 39
I've learned that there are people
who love you dearly
but just don't know how to show it..........Age 41
I've learned that you can make
some one's day by simply
sending them a little card..........Age 44
I've learned that the greater
a person's sense of guilt, the
greater his need to cast blame on others..........Age 46
I've learned that children and
natural allies. .......Age 47
I've learned that singing "Amazing
lift my spirits for hours..........Age 49
I've learned that motel mattresses
are better on the
side away from the phone..........Age 50
I've learned that you can tell
a lot about a man by the way
he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage,
and tangled Christmas tree lights ..........Age 51
I've learned that keeping a vegetable
garden is worth
a medicine cabinet full of pills..........Age 52
I've learned that regardless
of your relationship with your
parents, you miss them terribly after they die......Age 53
I've learned that making a living
is not the same
thing as making a life..........Age 58
I've learned that people will
forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but
people will never forget how you made them feel.....Age 59
I've learned that if you want
to do something positive for
your children, try to improve your marriage ........Age 61
I've learned that life sometimes
a second chance. .........Age 62
I've learned that you shouldn't
go through life with
a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able
to throw something back. ........Age 64
I've learned that if you pursue
happiness, it will elude you.
But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your
work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can,
happiness will find you..........Age 65
I've learned that whenever I
decide something with kindness,
I usually make the right decision..........Age 66
I've learned that everyone can use a prayer..........Age 72
I've learned that it pays to
believe in miracles. And to
tell the truth, I've seen several..........Age 73
I've learned that even when I
have pains, I don't
have to be one..........Age 82
I've learned that every day you
should reach out and touch
someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a
warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.......Age 85
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.........Age 92
I've learned that people love
a warm hug,
or just a friendly pat on the back.................Age 93
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.........Age 100
Subj: Non Sequitur Comic Strip (S1009)
By Wiley Miller in 2016
Subj: What I've Learned I (S120)
From: DrRibeiro in 1999
(Also see 'Lessons
Throughout A Lifetime'
and '25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years' in this file)
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.
that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.
that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.
that you can get by on charm for about
After that, you'd better know something.
that you shouldn't compare
yourself to the best others can do.
that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.
that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.
that you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last
time you see them.
that you can keep going long after you can't.
that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.
that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.
that sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
that sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.
that just because someone doesn't love
you the way you want them to doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.
that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.
that you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and what
a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.
that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.
that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.
that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.
that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.
that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a
secret. It could change your life forever.
that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.
that no matter how you try to protect your
children, they will eventually get hurt and
you will hurt in the process.
that your life can be changed in a matter of
hours by people who don't even know you.
that even when you think you have no more
to give, when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.
that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.
that it's hard to determine where to draw
the line between being nice and not hurting
people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
What I Have Learned II
..........in 2000 (S173, S386b)
I've learned that you cannot
make someone love you. All you
can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that regardless
of how hot and steamy a relation-
ship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a
lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that no matter how
you try to protect your children,
they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned that no matter how
much I care, some people are
I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only
takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others -
they are more fucked up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep
puking long after you think you
I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we
I've learned that you can get
by on charm for about fifteen
minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.
I've learned that sometimes the
people you expect to kick you
when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned that we don't have
to ditch bad friends, because
their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned that the people
you care most about in life are
taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just
never go away.
I've learned to say "Fuck 'em
if they can't take a joke"
in 6 languages.
Pass this along to 5 friends...
trust me, they'll appreciate it.
Who knows, maybe something good will happen. If not ... tough
From: email@example.com on 12/6/2000
I've learned that brain cells
come and go,
but fat cells are forever.
From: Imogenelumen on 6/22/2004
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
I've learned that whatever hits
the fan will not be evenly
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what
it is how you take it off.
I've learned that ex's are like fungus..They keep coming back.
I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that artificial
intelligence is no match for
I've learned that 99% of the
time when something isn't working
in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a
fine line between genius
Subj: The GIF - Dog On The Highway
From: LABLaughsClean in 2005
Source: (Removed from lablaughs.com)
Subj: Things I've Learned (S42)
From: Octagon999 on 97-11-14
(Also see 'What
and '25 Things I Have Learned In 50 Years' in this file)
Better organized in 'Lessons
Throughout A Lifetime' in this file.
I originally had two copies of the same file.
Subj: Great Truths About Life, That Adults Have Learned
From: RFSlick in 2002 (S267, S475b)
1. Raising teenagers is like
nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge. . . mostly sweet,
with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut
that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the
fiber -- not the joy.
From: Tom_Adams on 98-05-19
I read the following article
in the June 1998 issue of
Reader's Digestand felt it was worth sharing with all of
you that may still be waiting for "it" or know someone
who is. I hope you'll take the few minutes it will
take to read this. If no time at work, print it and take
it home to read and share with family and friends.
A Simple Truth About
H A P P I N E S S
If you're waiting for it, you've missed the point
By Dennis Prager
From"Happiness Is a Serious Problem"
After I gave a talk on the subject
of happiness, a woman
in the audience stood up and said, "I wish my husband had
come." As much as she loved him, she explained, it wasn't
easy being married to someone so unhappy.
This woman enabled me to put
into words what I had been
searching for -- the altruistic, as well as the personal,
reasons for taking happiness seriously. I told her that
each of us owes it to our spouse, our children, our friends
to be as happy as we can be. And if you don't believe me,
ask a child what it's like to grow up with an unhappy
parent, or ask parents what pain they suffer if they have
an unhappy child.
I was not a particularly happy
child, and like most teen-
agers, I reveled in my angst. One day, however, it
occurred to me that I was taking the easy way out. Anyone
could be unhappy; it took no courage or effort. True
achievement lay in struggling to be happy.
The notion that we have to work
at happiness comes as news
to many people. We assume it's a feeling that comes as a
result of good things that just happen to us, things over
which we have little or no control.
But the opposite is true:
happiness is largely under our
control. It is a battle to be waged and not a feeling to
To achieve a happier life, it's
necessary to overcome some
stumbling blocks, three of which are:
Comparison With Others.
Most of us compare ourselves
with anyone we think is
happier -- a relative, an acquaintance, or often, someone
we barely know. I once met a young man who struck me as
particularly successful and happy. He spoke of his love
for his beautiful wife and their daughter, and of his joy
at being a radio talk-show host in a city he loved. I
remember thinking that he was one of those lucky few for
whom everything goes effortlessly right.
Then we started talking about
the Internet. He blessed
its existence, he told me, because he could look up
information on multiple sclerosis -- the terrible disease
afflicting his wife. I felt like a fool for assuming
nothing unhappy existed in his life.
Images of Perfection.
Almost all of us have images
of how life should be. The
problem, of course, is that only rarely do people's jobs,
spouses and children live up to these imagined ideals.
Here's a personal example:
No one in my family had ever
divorced. I assumed that marriage was for life. So when
my wife and I divorced after five years of marriage and
three years after the birth of our son, my world caved in.
I was a failure in my own eyes.
I later remarried but confided
to my wife, Fran, that I
couldn't shake the feeling that my family life had failed.
She asked me what was wrong with our family now (which
included her daughter from a previous marriage and my son).
I had to admit that, aside from the pain of being with my
son only half the time (my ex-wife and I shared custody),
our family life was wonderful.
"Then why don't you celebrate it?" she asked.
That's what I decided to do.
But first I had to get rid
of the image of a "perfect" family.
"Missing Tile" Syndrome.
One effective way of sabotaging
happiness is to look at
something and fixate on even the smallest flaw. It's like
looking up at a tiled ceiling and concentrating on the
space where one tile is missing. As a bald man told me,
"Whenever I enter a room, all I see is hair."
Once you've determined what you're
missing tile is, explore
whether acquiring it will really make you happy. Then do
one of three things: get it, replace it with a different
tile, or forget about it and focus on the tiles in your
life that are not missing.
I've spent years studying happiness,
and one of the most
significant conclusions I've drawn is this: there is little
correlation between the circumstances of people's lives and
how happy they are. A moment's reflection should make this
obvious. We all know people who have had a relatively easy
life yet are essentially unhappy. An we know people who
have suffered a great deal but generally remain happy.
The first secret is gratitude.
All happy people are
grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. We tend to
think that being unhappy leads people to complain, but it's
truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming
The second secret is realizing
that happiness is a
byproduct of something else. The most obvious sources are
those pursuits that give our lives purpose -- anything from
studying insects to playing baseball. The more passions we
have, the more happiness we're likely to experience.
Finally, the belief that something
permanent transcends us
and that our existence has some larger meaning can help us
be happier. We need a spiritual or religious faith, or a
philosophy of life.
Whatever your philosophy, it
should encompass this truism:
if you choose to find the positive in virtually every
situation, you will be blessed, and if you choose to find
the awful, you will be cursed. As with happiness itself,
this is largely your decision to make.
Subj: Voltaire Quote (S994)
From: Hilda Baumgarner in 2016
Subj: More Thoughts On Happiness
From: auntieg on 98-11-21
(See 'Quotes On Happiness And Life' in THOU-LEARN-SUPP)
Life is now or never
We convince ourselves that life
will be better after we get
married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated
that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content
when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have
teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when
they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our
life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act
together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice
vacation, when we retire.
The truth is, there's no better
time to be happy than right
now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled
with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and
decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes come
from Alfred D Souza. He said, "For a long time it had
seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life.
But there was always some obstacle in the way, something
to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time
still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would
begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were
This perspective has helped me
to see that there is no way
to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, reassure every
moment that you have. And treasure it more because you
shared it with someone special, special enough to spend
your time...and remember that time waits for no one...
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back
to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten
pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the
house, until you start work, until you retire, until you
get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night,
until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home,
until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until
summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare,
until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on,
until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until
you die, until you are born again to decide that there is
no better time than right now to be happy...Happiness is a
journey, not a destination.
Thought for the day:
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.
Sonny Rollins' Advice To The Young
From: Dalt Williams in 2017 (S1052)
Walter Theodore "Sonny" Rollins is
To handle yourself, use your
To handle others, use your heart.
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once,
it's his fault;
if he betrays you twice, it's your fault.
Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
God gives every bird it's food,
But He does not throw it into it's nest.
He who loses money, loses much;
He who loses a friend, loses more;
He who loses faith, loses all.
Beautiful young people are acts
But beautiful old people are works of art.
Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
The tongue weighs practically
But so few people can hold it.
Subj: Mallard Comic Strip (S1052)
By Bruce Tinsley on 3/9/2017