Subj: Thoughts On Time
(Includes 50 jokes and articles, 27 1106,10,cL4f,wYT3a7a,7)
Jumping Clock from
Also see BAR-SUPP file- 'Bad
Grammar Coffee Mug'
BIRTHDAYS - 'Age Gauge'
CANADIAN file- 'Saskatchewan Has No Daylight Saving Time'
COLLEGE2 file- 'Frazz Comic Strip'
......................- 'The Class Of 2005'
......................- 'Freshman Entering College in l999'
COLLEGE-PROF - 'The Empty Pickle Jar' - Video
COMPUTERS3 - 'Remember When'
DRINKING file- '"Strange" Cuckoo Clock'
ELDERLY2-SUPP- 'Wake Up And Live Your Life' - Short Film
ELDERLY3 file- '1966 Vs 2016 Chart'
......................- '26 Signs You've Already Grown Up'
......................- 'Little Quirks About Life You Notice By Fifty'
......................- 'Old Is Just A State Of Mind?'
......................- 'You Know You're Getting Older When:'
......................- 'Signs You Are Getting Older:'
......................- 'Age Is A Funny Thing' By George Carlin
......................- 'On Aging'
......................- 'Thoughts On Aging'
......................- 'Some Great Things About Getting Older'
ELDERLY3-SUPP- 'The Over 40 Test'
......................- 'Life As We Once Knew It'
......................- 'We Survived Being Kids'
......................- 'How Old Is Grandpa?'
ELDERLY4 file- 'A Man's Success'
EPITAPHS file- 'The Death Of Common Sense'
FACTS1 file - 'Life Expectancy Calculator'
FACTS3 file - 'Buying a Watch in 1880'
FACTS5 file - 'A Little History From the 1500s'
......................- 'When My Grandmother Was A Child'
GREEK file - 'The Waterfall And A Heraclitus Quote'
HEADLINES-ADS- 'Time Traveler Ad'
HOTEL file - 'Clock At The Ham Yard Hotel, London' - Video
MATH4 file - 'Mind Reading Brain Teaser'
MATH6 file - '9's Clock!'
MEN1 file - 'The Watch'
......................- 'Saving Grandfather's Clock'
.........MOVIE_ETC-SU2- 'The Land Of Sandra Dee - Poem'
NATIONAL2 - 'The Future In Year 2035'
......................- 'A Billion In Perspective...'
.........PLANE2 file - 'What Time Is It?'
PREGNANT file- 'Granddaughter Born In Japan'
RIDDLE-SUPP - 'A What Am I Riddle #40'
SCIENCE1 file- 'Time Travel' - Video
SOLDIER-SUPP - 'A Pittance Of Time - Video/Song'
SPEECHES file- 'Steve Jobs' Commencement Address At Stanford'
THOUGHTS-KIDS- 'Daddy, May I Please Borrow $50?'
......................- 'When I Was A Kid...'
THOUGHTS-LRN1- 'More Thoughts On Happiness'
THOUGHTS-LRN2- 'My Seize-The-Moment Friend'
......................- 'Thoughts of An 83 Year Old Woman'
THOUGHTS-QOTS- 'Why Are Things The Way They Are?'
THOUGHTS-WARM- 'Remember When:'
Subj: Beany's Drive Thru In 1953
From: tom in 2015 (S956d-On Site)
.......Click 'HERE' to see activities at the newly opened
.......Beany's drive-through in Long Beach in 1952-1953.
Subj: Thoughts On Time Management (S72)
From: auntieg in 1998
A Lesson in Life
A while back I was reading about
an expert on subject of
time management. One day this expert was speaking to a
group of business students and, to drive home a point,
used an illustration those students will never forget.
As this man stood in front of
the group of high-powered
overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." He pulled
out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed mason jar and set it on a
table in front of him. He produced about a dozen fist-
sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time,
into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the
top and no more rocks would
fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the
class said, "Yes." He said, "Really?" He reached under
the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped
some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel
to work themselves down into the spaces between the big
Once more, he asked the group,
"Is the jar full?" By this
time the class was onto him. "Probably not," one of them
answered. "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table
and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the
sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the
rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question,
"Is this jar full?"
"No!" the class shouted.
Once again he said, "Good!" He
grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until
the jar was filled to the brim. Looked up at the class he
asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One eager beaver raised his hand
and said, "The point is,
no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard,
you can always fit some more things into it!"
"No," the speaker replied, "that's
not the point. The truth
this illustration teaches us is: if you don't put the big
rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."
What are the 'big rocks' in your
A project that YOU want to accomplish?
Time with your loved ones?
Your faith, your education, your finances?
Teaching or mentoring others?
Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never
get them in at all.
So, tonight or in the morning
when you are reflecting on
this short story, ask yourself this question: what are the
'big rocks' in my life or business? Put those in your jar
|Drawing from tom on 8/21/2009|
(Also see 'The Empty Pickle Jar' in College Professor)
A professor stood before his
philosophy class and had some
items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly
picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded
to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if
the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up
a box of pebbles and poured them
into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled
into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked
the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up
a box of sand and poured it into
the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He
asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two
cups of coffee from under the
table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor as
the laughter subsided, "I want
you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The
golf balls are the important things--your family, your children,
your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if
everything else was lost and only they remained, your life
would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things
that matter like your job,
your house and your car.
The sand is everything else--the
small stuff. "If you put
the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for
life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff you will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
"Pay attention to the things
that are critical to your
happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get
medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play
another 18. There will always be time to clean the house
and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--
the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The
rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her
hand and inquired what the
coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you
It just goes to show you that
no matter how full your life
may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee
with a friend."
When things in your lives seem
almost too much to handle,
when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the
mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
Subj: 3 Dancer's Clocks (S891)
From: George Takei in 2013
To realize the value of twenty
Ask a newly divorced couple.
To realize the value of four
Ask a graduate.
To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of nine
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize the value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one-second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one. Treasure
every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with
To realize the value of a friend:
The origin of this letter is unknown,
Subj: How Long A Minute Is? (S451b)
From: RFSlick in 2005
|How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age,
weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them.
That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more
about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An
idle mind is the devil's workshop", the devil's name
4. Enjoy the simple things.
When the children are young,
that is all that you can afford. When they are in
college, that is all that you can afford. When you
are on retirement, that is all that you can afford!
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for
breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the
store by your distinctive laughter.
6. The tears happen. Endure,
grieve, and move on. The
only person who is with us our entire life, is
ourselves. Be alive while you are alive, don't put
out a mailbox on the highway of death and just wait
in residence for your mail.
7. Surround yourself with what
you love, whether it is
family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, what-
ever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health. If it
is good, preserve it. If
it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you
can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips.
Go to the mall, the next
county, a foreign country, but not to guilt country.
10. Tell the people you love,
that you love them, at
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number
of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
Subj: 1000 Marbles (S184, S745)
From: RFSlick in 2000
The older I get, the more I enjoy
Saturday mornings. Perhaps
it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise,
or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work.
Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling
toward the basement shack with
a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in
the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned
into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time
to time. Let me tell you about it.
I turned the dial up into the
phone portion of the band on my
ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net.
Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a
tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind, he
sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He
was telling whoever he was talking with something about "a
I was intrigued and stopped to
listen to what he had to say.
"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm
sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away
from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young
fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to
make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter's dance
He continued, "Let me tell you
something Tom, something that
has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities."
And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "Thousand
"You see, I sat down one day
and did a little arithmetic. The
average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some
live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about
"Now then, I multiplied 75 times
52 and I came up with 3900
which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has
in their entire lifetime.
Now stick with me Tom, I'm getting
to the important part."
"It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all
this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived
through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking
that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand
of them left to enjoy." "So, I went to a toy store and bought
every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three
toy stores to round-up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put
them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in
the shack next to my gear. Every Saturday since then, I have
taken one marble out and thrown it away."
"I found that by watching the
marbles diminish, I focused more
on the really important things in life. There is nothing like
watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your
"Now let me tell you one last
thing before I sign-off with you
and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I
took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I
make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little
extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more
"It was nice to meet you Tom,
I hope you spend more time with
your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band.
75 year old man, this is K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good
You could have heard a pin drop
on the band when this fellow
signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I
had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was
going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club news-
letter. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss.
"C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.
"Oh, nothing special it's just
been a long time since we spent a
Saturday together with the kids.
Hey, can we stop at a toy store
while we're out? I need to buy
The Wheels Of Time
..........in 2006 (S474b)
To view this cute, large cartoon by click 'HERE'.
Subj: The Paradox Of Our Time (S131A, S421)
by Dr. Bob Moorehead
former pastor of Seattle's Overlake Christian Church
From: RFSlick in 1999
(also see 'A Columbine Student Essay' in THOUGHTS-LEARNED2)
The paradox of our time in history
is that we have taller
buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower
viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but
enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but
less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts,
but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We
drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh
too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay
up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too
much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions,
but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've
learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added
years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to
the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to
meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not
inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split
the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn
less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to
rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more
information to produce more copies than ever, but have less
communication. These are the times of fast foods and slow
digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and
shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace,
but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds
of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes,
but more divorce; of fancier
houses, but broken These are days of quick trips, disposable
diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight
bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to
kill. is a time when there is much in the show window and
nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring
this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to
share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Snoops.com properly attributes
this essay to Dr. Bob Moorehead
Subj: Candorville Comic Strip (S1106)
By Darrin Bell in 2018
Subj: More Thoughts On Time (S863)
From: auntieg in 1998
Suppose that there was a bank
that credits your account each
moring with $86,400.00. It carries over no balance from day
to day. Every evening they delete whatever part of the
balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do?
Draw out every cent of course!!!
Each of us has such a bank. It's
name is TIME. Every morning
it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off
as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good
purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft.
Each day it opens a new account for you and each night it burns
the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposit.
THE LOSS IS YOURS. There is no going back. There is no drowing
against the "Tomorrow".
You must live in the present
on today's deposits. Invest it so
as to get from it the utmost in Health, Happiness, and Success!
The clock is running so make the most of today.
To realize the value of
ONE YEAR , ask a student who failed a
To realize the value of ONE MONTH ,ask the mother who gave
birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are
waiting to reunite.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask the person who missed
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask the person who just
avoided and accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLSECOND, ask the person who won
a silver medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you
have!. And treasure it more
because you shared it with some special, special enough to
spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
It's national friendship week.
Friends are a very rare
jewel indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to
succeed. They lend and ear, they share a word of praise,
and they always want to open their hearts to us.
..........in 2002 (d-On Site,SWF)
To see this most interesting invention, by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: When To Use The Good China (S129, S360b)
From: TA989287 in 1999
(Also see 'Thoughts of An 83 Year Old Woman' in THOUGHTS-LEARNED2)
I'm reading more and dusting
less. I'm sitting in the yard
and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the
I'm spending more time with my
family and friends and less
time at work.
Whenever possible, life should
be a pattern of experiences
to savor, not to endure. I'm trying to recognize these
moments now and cherish them.
I'm not "saving" anything; we
use our good china and crystal
for every special event such as losing a pound, getting the
sink unstopped, or the first Amaryllis blossom. I wear my
good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous,
I can shell out 28.49 for one small bag of groceries.
I'm not saving my good perfume
for special parties, but
wearing it for clerks in the hardware store and tellers at
Someday" and "one of these days"
are losing their grip on
my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing,
I want to see and hear and do it now.
I'm not sure what my cousins
would've done had they known
that they wouldn't be here for the tomorrow that we all
take for granted. I think they would have called family
members and a few close friends. They might have called
a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a
Chinese dinner, or for whatever their favorite food was.
I'm guessing; I'll never know.
It's those little things left
undone that would make me
angry if I knew my hours were limited. Angry because I
hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write
one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my
husband and parents often enough how much I truly love them.
I'm trying very hard not to put
off, hold back, or save
anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that
it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly
is a gift from God.
"People say true friends must
always hold hands, but true
friends don't need to hold hands because they know the
other hand will always be there."
Subj: When Does The New Millennium Begin? (S143)
From: scott_pryor on 10/26/1999
I'm getting very tired of hearing
people on tv, radio,
newspapers, etc., incorrectly talking about the new
millennium approaching. Just to set the record straight,
the new century/new millennium starts on Jan. 1, 2001.
Don't belive me? Then check
out the US Naval Observatory's
web site. They are the official time keepers for the
United States. They have more information on time and
time keeping than any normal person would care to read!
Here is the URL: www.usno.navy.mil.
A Brief History Of Time
..........in 1999 (S124)
You can read this long, cute
history of time by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Reverse Life Cycle (S129b)
From: smiles in 1999
(Also see 'George Carlin's Perfect Life' in QUOTES-COMEDIANS)
The most unfair thing about
life is the way it ends. I mean,
life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you
get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it
out of the way. Then you live
in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too
young, you get a gold watch, you got to work. You work forty
years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high
school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play,
you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you
go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months
floating...you finish off as a gleam.
Subj: Dilbert Comic Strip (S993)
By Scott Adams in 2016
Subj: Back in my day ... (S144)
From: KMacinty in 1999
The Washington Post Report from
Week 228, in which you were
asked to tell Gen-Xers how much harder you had it in the old
In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot.
In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for
traction. (Bill Flavin, Alexandria)
In my day we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that
stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller
skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play
right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters,
which we never had because our allowances were way too small,
so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they
were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust
our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy
metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in
those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.
(Russell Beland, Springfield)
And the winner of the velour
In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We had to go down to the
creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads
(Barry Blyveis, Columbia)
In my day, we didn't have dogs or cats. All I had was Silver
Beauty, my beloved paper clip. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
In my day, attitudes were different.
For example, women didn't
like sex. At least that is what they told me. (Tom Witte,
When I was your age, we didn't
have fake doggie-do. We only
had real doggie-do, and no one thought it was a damn bit
funny. (Brendan Bassett, Columbia)
Back in the 1970s we didn't have
the space shuttle to get
all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the
crummy moon. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
In my day, we didn't have days.
There was only time for work,
time for prayer and time for sleep. The sheriff would go
around and tell everyone when to change. (Elden Carnahan,
In my day, people could only
dream of hitchhiking a ride on
a comet. David Ronka, Charlottesville)
In my day, we didn't have hand-held
calculators. We had to do
addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some
fingers amputated. (Jon Patrick Smith, Washington)
In my day, we didn't get that
disembodied, slightly ticked-
off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the
doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out it scraped
along the tunnel all the damn way to the Silver Spring
station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base
fare was only a dollar. (Russell Beland, Springfield)
In my day, we didn't have water.
We had to smash together
our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. (Diana Hugue, Bowie)
In my day, we didn't have Strom
Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we
did ... (Peg Sheeran, Vienna)
Kids today think the world revolves
around them. In my
day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was
perched on the back of a giant tortoise. (Jonathan Paul,
In my day, we wore our pants
up around our armpits.
Monstrous wedgies, but we looked snappy. (Bruce Evans,
Back in my day, '60 Minutes'
wasn't just a bunch of gray-
haired liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-
haired liberal 60-year-old guys. (Russell Beland, Spring-
field, and Jerry Pannullo, Kensington)
In my day, we didn't have virtual
reality. If a one-eyed
razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you
just had to hope you could outrun him. (Sarah M. Wolford,
Copyright 1997 The Washington Post Company
Subj: Short Thoughts On Time
Reaction Time Test
..........in 2006 (S476b,d-On Site,SWF)
Subj: Crazy Fads 1920 to 1999 (S389)
From: igiggle in 2004
If you read one from before you were born and then read the
90s section you'll realize that people have always been stupid.
Go to www.crazyfads.com/ it brought back memories.
The Paradox Of Our Time II - PPS (S545)
by Dr. Bob Moorehead
From: darrell94590 in 2007
This 1,300 KB PowerPoint Show
is an excellent remake
of Dr. Bob Moorehead's 1995 essay in Words Aptly Spoken.
You can watch by clicking 'HERE'. It downloads on Chrome.
From: LABLaughs.com in 2002 (S260)
Capture the moment, whover you are.
None of us is here forever.
From: dogbyte in 2002 (S260)
There's no future in time travel!
From: LABLaughs.com in 2003 (S329b)
We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch.
-- John Fitzgerald Kennedy
From: igiggle in 2004 (S380b)
There really is a unit of time called a "jiffy."
It's exactly 1/100th of a second.
From: igiggle in 2004 (S381b)
Middle age is when you've given up all your bad habits
and still don't feel good.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com in 2006
(S480b - boxing)
"Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...
smart too late." -- Mike Tyson